A small piece of the puzzle

Sigh.


I just finished talking to Tabitha on the phone, our conversation was exactly 2 hours and 39 minutes long. Afterwards I just thought, "Man, you really can't know anyone for sure."

There are so many different sides and dimensions to a person, that it's impossible to truly know someone for who they are unless you both mutually agree to put everything on the table. I feel like that's how I am with Tabitha, but there are still some things I don't tell her.

Sometimes I just feel like all I ever do is scatter tiny puzzle pieces of myself here and there. Some in my sketch book, some in my diary, some here in my blog, some with the conversations I have with people, some with my stories - and I just want someone to pick up all these pieces of the puzzle and put them all together in a way where each piece would be carefully examined before they try to fit it in with the other piece.

Lately, all I ever want is to be alone. Is that bad? I hate going on facebook to see what people are doing, I don't want to know that their lives are going on without me. I don't even like sleeping anymore because I end up thinking too much. Before I made sure that I would always be with someone everyday of the winter break - now it's just, whatever.

Dear readers, I think I'm broken. There are only ever two reasons why I would have sudden bouts of lethargic-ness: 1) Whenever I'm in a relationship and it has taken a sour turn 2) Whenever my classes are dragging me down.

Neither has happened to me, and I don't know why I suddenly have an urge for someone to put together my puzzle. Maybe it's just time for classes to start again so my mind can start working again - or maybe I'm entering a new phase that I've yet to figure out.

Well, whatever this is, I hope it won't get in the way.

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Here are some of the out takes of 1.365




One response to “A small piece of the puzzle

  1. One of my favorite verses that constantly reminds me of the reality of our human relationships: "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy."

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