Archive for 2010

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!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY TANG!!!!!

THE STORY OF MY FRIENDSHIP WITH A.ME TANG:

It all happened on that fateful September day in grade 8, when across the asphalt from where I was standing I spotted this mousy, short, little girl with a huge Hello Kitty backpack and fringe bangs.

Amy Tang was the new kid, and I, having been there for 2 years, knew the ins and outs when it came to gossip at that school. The other girls quickly disapproved of the her and her backpack, but I secretly thought it was cool how she was indifferent to everyone else's opinions. (It was kind of like the time I bared my soul in class by giving a speech about hamsters and how cool and awesome they were, and it wasn't until after when someone said my speech was stupid that I realized being indifferent to other people's opinions would not get me any friends.)

A year later, in high school, Amy and I were stuck in the same French class. Being a shy introvert, I didn't have anyone else to talk to except Amy, the girl I had seen across the asphalt with the Hello Kitty backpack. We struck up conversation and soon we were paired for a project about stolen moldy blue cheese from a museum.

Our friendship was born. She invited me over to her house where her mom made us fried rice and I gave her a Hello Kitty purse that year. We wrote notes to each other between classes and stuck them in our lockers, hung out in the library after school, volunteered to gift wrap presents, made Facebook accounts at the same time and spent a surprisingly large amount of time watching MTV on Fridays. We went to concerts together, bars, karaoke, malls, trips to Center Island and was there for first break ups. We skipped prom, classes, and sleep.

She was always A.me and I was lemon.

Even though Amy never fully understood my love for Harry Potter and I never really understood some of her quirks, she and I remained good friends after high school. We continued going to Center Island together, and continued sharing mishaps and will continue to do so.

So before this starts to sound too cheesy, I will stop and say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY TANG!" once more. You are an awesome friend who has always been there for me.

THIS STORY IS DEDICATED TO AMY TANG B/C WE'VE BOTH WORKED HERE:

Today I was at work.

This customer was seriously annoying due to his cheap-ass-iness, he kept on complaining about the $3.00 handing fee. Frustrated, I decided to put him through the customer service so they can deal with him. I furiously dialed the number and waited for a ring.

Then I got this: "Hello Big Boy, are you ready for a fun, flirty conversation with girls who are -"

WHATTT

1) Why does the customer service phone number resemble a sex phone line
2) Why did it take me 2 1/2 years to realize this?

I slammed the phone before it could hear the rest of the suggestive greeting. Nat and I laughed about it for ten minutes straight afterwards.

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Hello World.


I have half an hour to waste before I head out to karaoke with Amy Tang and other people so I thought I might as well blog.

The other week I gave this guy at work, who I sometimes talk to, my phone number. Ever since then he's been randomly texting me one word: "Hey."

Hey what? I usually don't respond because I don't know what 'Hey' entails, is it a conversational hey or a creepy hey ... It's somewhat awkward at work when I run into him, because I don't know if he's wondering why I ignored his 'Hey.'

So recently I've acquired a new skill: I've learned to skate. Admittedly, I suck, but I am getting better. I've been skating a couple of times now, and only fallen once because Vinay pushed me.

Before the winter break begun, Armin asked me to go skating with him. I reluctantly said yes because 1) I have problems saying no and 2) I couldn't skate. But since I somewhat learned thanks to Amy Tang and other people the other day (was it last Thursday? Can't remember, all the days are blurring into one) I went skating with Armin, my sister and Vinay this morning.

My sister planned the trip, which was why we were at Nathan Philips square at 10 a.m in the morning. Annabelle's a morning person, I'm not. She likes to do things in the morning, I don't. I like to stay up until 4 a.m. at night, she doesn't. But since it was her event, I got up early and went downtown with her.

It was freezing this morning, Armin, Annabelle and I chickened out and went straight to Tim Hortons instead of skating right away. Vinay met up with us there.

We were talking about something I read in Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: Apparently, it's a misconception that kids can pick up language easily because their brain has more plasticity, apparently your brain never looses it's plasticity so it shouldn't be a problem to pick up a language even at an older age. Of course, obviously there will be other factors that will hinder you.

So this got me thinking, if your brain never looses it's plasticity, (oh and this is a true fact by the way, since my sister confirmed it. She use to major in neuro science since she got tired of how disorganized the program was) that means you can pick up a skill at any time. For example: I've always considered myself tone deaf because 1) I have trouble playing instruments 2) I cannot sing, but I suppose it's just a matter of training your brain to do something.

There was this one test where they gathered a group of individuals who practiced on an actual piano and individuals who practiced on an imagined piano, and they found that the people who practiced on the imagined piano were able to play just as well. There's a whole chapter about it in Annabelle's textbook, maybe I'll summarize it later. It's pretty cool stuff.

Ok, half an hour over. Amy Tang and other people are here.

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Merry Christmas!

I haven't been blogging lately because I've felt like I didn't need to blog about anything at all. I've been satisfying my need to narrate things by writing everything down in my diary though. I guess lately, everything I needed to say has been private and something I felt like I didn't need to share with anyone else.


So it's Christmas day today. I woke up, texted certain people and made waffles. My mom is currently in the kitchen cooking up a storm for tonight: The whole clan is gathering at my uncle's house where we're each going to exchange one gift to each other. (This year the clan decided to do a secret santa gift exchange type thing, this led to a many many many objections from a certain aunt who strongly believes we shouldn't even be getting together on Christmas day at all since we're not suppose to be celebrating this pagan holiday.)

But even though we don't celebrate Christmas, I feel like something would be missing if we didn't at least get together and see each other. I mean, we're family after all, isn't that important at least?

Last night, I came home from work and was surprised to see my grandparents over for dinner. They brought their hot pot set with them so my mom was busily running back and forth from T&T buying all the ingredients. Needless to say, we had a lot of meat and dumplings, topped off with peanut balls. We were going to watch Inception after dinner (Hot Pot and Inception, this seriously reminded me of Clement) but I told my mom that the grandparents probably wouldn't understand it, so we watched Salt instead. (Half way through the movie I passed out and fell asleep from peanut ball and meat overdose.)

Oh, and my coworkers were very generous this year. They gave me a TON of stuff. I'm going to wait tomorrow to buy them gifts. (I think I'll buy more smelly socks to give to them) Let's see, they got me:
-$10 gift card to Mc. Donalds
-$12 gift card to Tim Hortons
-$10 gift card to Sears
-A Burts Bees facial set (I loooovvveee Burts Bees)
-Lots and lots and lots of chocolate
-A gift bag that had blue nail polish (love), blue lip gloss, and a blue bow clip topped off with more chocolate from Natalie (Natalie is awesome)

I feel very blessed. One thing about me is that I like spending money on people and not so much on myself, so when people give me gifts I'm always like "Wow you must care a lot about me."

What else what else what else...
A couple of us were recently talking about 'Kate' and who Sunshine's Kate could possibly be, and since I just recently finished watching Escaflowne, I think I'll give my two cents on 'True Love.'

True love sucks and finding true love is the worst thing ever, especially when there's so many ifs and buts and not enough certainty. (Unless you have super intuition like Hannah, I guess) The thought of true love is such a sore t0 me at the moment. But is there such thing as a true love between friends? Sometimes I feel like my friends are so awesome that true love can wait for me, instead of me waiting for it.

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Freeedom

Freedom is here! I slept for 12 hours today, woke up and stuffed my face with food. Today will be my unscheduled, relaxed, I'm-going-to-do-whatever-I-want-at-home day.


The past week and a half has been brutal. I will recount the horrid week and a half here:

Monday before last: Exam for one of my classes, which I spent the entire week before studying for.

Last Friday: Take home test due.
Tangent: The take home test was due at four in the afternoon. I get to the bus stop at 3:15 and ran into Armin, who was also going on campus. We talk and talk and talk, when all the sudden I realize that it's already 3:45 and the bus still hasn't arrived. (I HATE the 105 bus) Eventually it came and I ended up arriving at the office at 4:30 to hand it in, but the office closed at 4:00.
Panicking, I call someone in my class and ask where the professors office was. I get to her office (Btw the EAS department offices in Robarts library is like a freakin maze, it has two mini separate levels within one level.) and left my paper in her little box. I also emailed her my test so hopefully she received it!

Saturday: Work

Sunday: Work
Tangent: My manager was like, "Why do you look so down today?!?" I think the right question would have been: "Why do you look so tired?" But I guess my facial expression for down and tired is the same. It was because:

Monday: Two papers due and a test.
Tangent: Peter didn't finish editing my essay until 10 a.m. in the morning. So I had to rush and print it off on campus, then rushed to class to hand it in time. Then I spent the next five hours editing my next paper. I also met up with a friend and we crammed a bit for the exam.
Nooooo idea why my professor decided on making me suffer by having a paper and an exam ALL IN THE SAME CLASS. This is insanity.

Tuesday: Exam
Tangent: Brutality! My professor gave us an hour for the exam. I was like, "Ok I can do this." Then I get down to doing it and realized that we had to do three close readings for three random Shakespeare passages. Thankfully, I guessed them all right, but I doubt I did well on my close reading analysis.****

So that was my little personal hell. I tried my best not to post any complaints here, since no one likes to read complaints.

Ok that is all, I was going to write more but I think I'm going to drink tea instead.

****Edit, this is after I got back the test.
Guessed them all right?!? PSH.
I got the Queen and the Duchess mixed up in Richard II. Why? I don't know since they're completely different characters who represent different things.

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On Blogging and Random Tangents

I think the whole world should blog, that way I won't have to personally ask, "How are you doing?"

Kidding. I like asking people how they are doing. It gives the pretense that I care. Kidding kidding.

It's just that usually when people blog, they write about things that has been mulling over heads for sometime, and it's usually something deep down and personal that you wouldn't otherwise have known if they hadn't blogged about it. It's something that you wouldn't get from a simple "How are you doing today?!" (Hello carrot soap!)

Anyway, so now you're wondering, what do I have to say that I've been mulling over in my head for a while? (Can't be anything interesting since I almost blog on a daily basis) Nothing really.

So I'm the type of person who gets inspired really easily. Lately, it's become a bad habit of mine to encourage myself by saying: "YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THAT!" Hence, I've convinced myself that with enough hard work, anything is attainable.

Wrong. It doesn't only take hard work, it also takes a lot of inspiration, and most importantly: basic talent.

For example: A few years ago I was convinced that if I practiced hard enough, I could eventually learn to play 'Far Away' by Nickelback on the piano. Problem is, I can't play the piano anymore. People always say that once you learn to do some things, it's hard to unlearn. That is a myth. (Or maybe I am just a special case) When I was a kid I use to be able to play the piano.

I pulled out my dusty old piano books and started to practice the basic songs like 'happy birthday' and 'when the saints go marching in.' I put in a lot of hard work, but eventually inspiration fled me and I decided to give up.

(Other myths that people think you can't unlearn: Roller blading. I use to roller blade up gigantic hills and now I fall down every time I put on roller blades. But I think I'm just a special case.)

Another example: When I was a kid and was starting to discover the internet, I came across a bunch of Harry Potter doodles by fantastic artists online. Then I started doodling and doodling and doodling Harry Potter characters (mostly the Marauders) and voila, to this day I can still somewhat doodle.

Lesson here: The reason that I continued to doodle was because I was always inspired (not always by Harry Potter) and because I had basic talent.

Basically, the point is, we're all good at different things. But then this thought occurred to me: what if we tried to change ourselves in order to impress someone else?

I.e. A girl might want to impress a guy who works out a lot, so she starts to work out a lot herself even though she hates working out.

Ok going on a bit of a tangent here. But I've been talking to a friend lately and this is what he told me. He's like, "If I want a girl who has a good body, I will need to workout and have a good body myself. It's not changing who you are or improving yourself for that person, you're improving the odds of you getting what you want."

This makes sense, but I disagree. I see a bit of a hole in the argument. What if, and this is just an example, I want a guy who has a lot of money. By this logic, I would need to get more money myself first in order to improve my odds of getting a guy with a lot of money. But if I had a lot of money myself, why would I want a guy with a lot of money to begin with?

But I guess my friend could just be talking about physical appearances. So what if I want a guy with a small nose because I have a large nose, does that mean I have to get a smaller nose in order to improve my chances of getting a guy with a smaller nose?

Anyway, I've been reading this Christian book recently, and in it the author gave this example: If a guy likes to eat a lot, he will eventually end up with a girl who can't cook. Then he'll be like, 'Lord, why did you give me a girl who can't cook if you know I like to eat a lot?' The Lords answer would be: 'It's because it's what you need.'

See, this is why I didn't agree with my friends logic, and I guess essentially, this is what I am getting at with this entire post. Develop the talents that you have and your own interests. If something doesn't interest you, don't force yourself to do it just to impress someone else. Also, often you'll end up with someone the complete opposite of what you want.

Not saying that my friend who wants a girl with a good body will end up with someone fat or unhealthy, but just someone who is perfectly suited for him without him trying to do much to impress her.

Actually, now that I think about it, what did he mean by good body anyway? Does good body mean someone healthy or someone with abs and muscles?

Also, by my logic I can maybe figure out who I'll eventually end up with: Because I don't need to change who I am because the way I am now will be exactly the way my future husband will need me to be, he'll probably be:

1) Someone who can do math
2) Someone who likes to clean the toilet
3) Someone who may dislike literature

(I dislike the sound of #3)

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Board Games

As some of you may know, I am addicted to board games, which is why when I looked at the flyer today at work and saw that it was 'Buy one get the second for 75% off' I rushed and bought TWO BOARD GAMES.


=D

So this is how I practically got a board game for free:
1) It was already on sale to begin with
2) I got 75% off the second one
3) I got another 10% off because of my employee discount

When I was picking which games to buy, I thought long and hard. I was like, "Which ones would I have the most fun playing?"

I then took Cranium (the Canadian edition) and Trivial Pursuit off the shelves. I went to pay for them and my manager looks at me funny.

She's like, "I hope you don't have buyers remorse."

I was confused, why would anyone ever have buyers remorse over a board game? Then I realized that she meant that the games I chose were kinda brainy, as in, you actually have to somewhat think.

I don't think she thought that I was too stupid to play them. For some reason, because of the mere fact that I go to U of T, people at work think I'm smart. This is couldn't be further from the truth. I think it might be because there are only two people at work who goes to U of T so they aren't aware of the fact that NO ONE gets rejected from U of T. (This is somewhat true, I don't know anyone who has applied to U of T and has been rejected.)

But I don't know why she would have any issues with thinking games because she's the engineer. (My manager was a chemical engineer, but she ended up being severely allergic to chemicals so she had to find another job.)

Anyway, Tabi said I was a board game shopaholic. I will partly own up to this. So far I have:
Apples to Apples
Things in a Box
Trivial Pursuit
Cranium

Two games that would complete my life:
Harry Potter Monopoly
Blokus

If you guys ever want to play sometime you're welcome to come over. Just give me 24 hours notice beforehand so I can clean up. We'll stuff our faces with waffles while playing =D


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HOLY COWS!!

I was just showing Annabelle Trivial Pursuit and I randomly picked out a card, and it was:

HARRY POTTER.

Questions:
Flourish and Blotts, Eelops Owl Emporium, and Gringotts Wizarding bank are all found in what shopping district?

Who does Emma Watson Play in the Harry Potter Films?

The first Harry Potter book was released under what title in the United States?

What subject was taught by professor Quirrell, Lockhart, Lupin and Umbridge?

In what plant-related field does Neville Longbottom excel?

How many balls are used in a game of Quidditch?

TAME! All these questions are easy. BUT just the fact that Trivial Pursuit has a card for Harry Potter means I picked the right game!!! -^.^-

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Why I dislike Christmas Songs

It's officially December! That means we can finally shave since Movember is done. (This is where you laugh because that was a joke: har har) This also means that Christmas is 25 days away.


I feel like doing a Christmas type post, especially after I realized how essay-like my last post was. (I can't help it, I've been reading nothing but formalist and deconstruction essays lately, my brain is processing everything in essay format)

So growing up, I never celebrated Christmas which is completely backwards because in the Philippines, Christmas season starts in September. (Once you get to the -ber months)We never celebrated Christmas because:

1) Jesus wasn't even born in December.
2) We were taught to celebrate his birthday everyday.
3) Christmas is nothing but a big marketing scheme.

This is why I've always had the concept that all Christmas songs were fake. I mean, if you get down to it, some of them are completely bogus, like:

1) Frosty the Snowman - what does that have to do with the birth of Christ?
2) I saw mom kiss Santa claus last night - Ditto
3) Jingle bells Batman smells, Robin Laid an egg/ Jingle bell rock - Ditto
4) Santa claus is coming to town - Ditto

I guess I've just had bad exposure to stupid Christmas (albeit catchy) songs. There are some legit ones like Silent Night and [Insert Legit Christmas Song Here Because I Am Blanking Out] which I guess are ok.

Also, there are some people who 'celebrate Christmas' who are not even Christians at all, which is great because then the economy is happy since we're all busy buying presents for everyone, but I've always thought that they were missing the whole point of Christmas.

I use to watch these special cartoon Christmas shows on t.v. when I was kid, and they always talked about the 'Christmas Spirit' which always ended up being warm hearted and having fuzzy feelings and being un-Scrooge like. I was confused because the 'Christmas Spirit' usually had nothing to do with Jesus' birthday.

So, then you might ask, who came up with the bogus idea of the 'Christmas Spirit' in the first place? According to my professor who thought it would be fun to make us read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens this past week, it was Charles Dickens himself. Apparently, he invented the 'Christmas Storybook' and after writing A Christmas Carol (party because he figured that every year whenever Christmas came around people would have to buy his book) he became known as 'Father Christmas' in a sense.

At the end of A Christmas Carol, Scrooge ends up giving Cratchit a big turkey (twice the size of tiny Tim) and a raise. This means that Christmas was all about spending money on extravagant things and being temporarily happy. This concept caught on, and today we still practice it.

Also, the Holiday season gives people extra excuse to be materialistic, making our ecological footprint even bigger than it already is. The other day at work, I placed an order for this dad who wanted to buy his 10 year old an ipod touch. (Where was my ipod touch when I was ten?!? Huh?!?)

Speaking of work, being in retail gives you twice as much of a reason to hate Christmas songs. We started to play Christmas songs after remembrance day. Let's say I have an 8 hour shift three times a week, that's 24 bloody hours of listening to a kid singing about his/her adulterous mom kissing santa under the mistletoe, and to jingle bell rocks, and about rudolf and that giant pimple on his nose, and reindeers dashing through the snow, and to whatever other Christmas song there is.

It's like being slowly tortured with each and every single song. And this is why I mainly dislike Christmas songs.

And I will end this by saying: bah humbug.

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Darren Criss

Is my newest obsession.


Why he is awesomesauce:

1) He produced/directed/co-wrote the songs in the Harry Potter Musical.
Watch the awesomeness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk

2) He plays as Kurts older gay mentor on Glee.

3) He is half Filipino and half Irish. Say whattt ... He doesn't have any physical Filipino traits, which is why it's so weird. But it's legit. I googled it, ha. (I could still be wrong, wouldn't be surprised.)

4) He co-owns his own production company called Starkid Productions with several of his other friends.

I've also been very obsessed with his rendition of 'Teenage Dream' on Glee, I've probably watched the video more than a hundred times.

Watch talented people sing here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E46BhMIRujI

Actually, it's not just Darren Criss that caught my attention in this video, I think the video has a lot of character development in terms of Kurt finding his safe 'haven' in the Dalton Academy (is that what it's called?) for boys.

This is what I thought:

1) Kurt enters the room saying "Oh, I stick out like a sore thumb" and Darren's character says "Next time don't forget your jacket, new kid."

Kurt saying that he sticks out like a sore thumb is what he inwardly thinks of himself because he is the only openly gay person in his high school. He is then happy to know that with the right clothes, i.e. their uniform, he can fit right in a place that is willing to accept him.

Darren's character (I really have to google his name -_-) also touches/caresses his shoulder and arm while telling Kurt that he will fit right in. In his own school, no one touches Kurt, except to push him into a locker and bully him. The only other time people might touch Kurt is when they are trying to comfort and hug him, but no one touches him 'just because.'

And although Kurt is not wearing the uniform that everyone else is wearing, he happily finds himself in a room full of guys that do not point out the difference with snide remarks, instead they let him watch them perform. Before this scene, Darren's character explains to Kurt that the Glee club in Dalton Academy are treated like rock stars, this then would be the equivalent to Kurt being accepted into the football team in his own high school just for being 'who he is' and not because he looks like everyone else.

2) Teenage dream is ABSOLUTELY perfect in reflecting what Kurt is going through since in this very episode, the assignment was to sing a song that would not normally be sung by the opposite gender. Also, it's perfect because Darren's character is singing what Kurt is thinking/feeling, so that Kurt himself doesn't have to say it. They have a mutual understanding.

"Before you met me, I was alright but things were kind of heavy."
Before meeting Darren's character, things were inwardly hard for Kurt. No one understood what he was going through and no one cared to find out. He pretended they were 'alright' on the outside and refused to talk about his struggles. They were 'heavy' because he had no one to relate to.

"You brought me to life, now every February you'll be my valentine (valentine)."

Now that Kurt has an older, gay mentor whom he can look up to, he has been brought to life. 'Every February you'll be my valentine' alludes to the possibility of the two of them hooking up, although at this point of the show the audience is unaware of Darren's character sexuality, making the performance seem like Kurt's fantasy.

"Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love"

Something no one has every said to Kurt before, 'just love' means full acceptance of everything that makes him unique, i.e. his homosexuality.

"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream."

Darren points to Kurt as he sings this, letting it seem like this is not only Kurt's fantasy, but Darren's characters fantasy as well. Together, they will 'live the teenage dream' that embodies love and acceptance and as well the 'nomality' that heterosexuals take for granted.

3) At 1:20 Kurt takes his eyes off Darren and looks around the room. He sees guys his own age dancing and enjoying a song that is traditionally sung by a female singer. In his own Glee club, Kurt usually finds himself signing songs by female artists (i.e. the Lady Gaga episode) and is comfortable doing so, however, Mr. Shuster has pointed out that he can't keep doing that, and must sing with the guys. As well, the guys in the Glee club has expressed that they do not want to sing songs sung by women. Kurt struggles with this concept.

So when Kurt looks around in this room and sees guys singing along and dancing without any prohibition, he is shocked to find a place that does not draw the line between genders and sexuality, especially since everyone is male and there are no females in the room. (In his own school, it is usually the girls who sympathize with him first.)

4) At 1:34 Kurt smiles for the first time as Darren sings "I'm going to get your heart racing," and then smirks when Darren sings "In my skin tight jeans." Kurt then continues to smile for the rest of the scene and does not take his eyes of Darren. Then at 2:18: Kurt starts to bop along with the song, like everyone else. At the end, Kurt, cannot help but be awed, and claps along with the rest of the school who obviously has high respect for the singers.

Kurt's willingness to conform with the group/copy their actions (i.e. bop along to the song and clap at the end) shows that he has found a place to be himself and feels comfortable, as seen with his wide smile and smirks. In his own school, Kurt does not conform to what everyone else does: he dresses differently, acts different and sticks out. As well, he never seems to smile. But now Kurt is conforming to what everyone else is doing and is actually smiling, it means that he has found a place where he no longer has to be different from everyone else and be accepted.

--

Even though I would personally think that Kurt would be better off in the Dalton Academy for boys, I doubt the producers of Glee would keep him there because then the show would get boring.

Anyway! That's all my reasons for loving the video and Darren Criss. I will continue watching it a hundred times more ^.^

Ohhh and on one last note: The actor who plays Kurt's first name is Chris, which sounds like Darren's last name: Criss. Apparently, it gets confusing on set for them sometimes, the interchangeability of their names is a really weird coincidence.

(And I also hope no one was bored reading this, heh.)

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Saturday, Critics and Theorists

Life without parents:


Not as exciting as I had imagined, but this could be due to the fact that I've been too busy to do anything exciting. My biggest concern had been how I was going to manage to feed everyone, but since everyone pretty much has a job it hasn't been a problem because we've all just been separately going out to buy our own food.

I was planning on going grocery shopping today, but Annabelle gave me a lecture about saving money and cooking with what we had. Easy for her to say, she wasn't the one who had to cook.

Anyway, she was right though. I got off my butt and actually cooked a bunch of things today: I made pickled cucumbers, which is basically pickles but I prefer calling them pickled cucumbers; fried rice; chicken soup; and waffles. I have no problems with cooking, I just never do it because I don't know how to make food taste good.

I also missed out on seeing Harry Potter with Tabitha and everyone else today because I had to study (and to some degree babysit my brothers) Oh well, I'll just watch it later on with other people.

I've been reading a bunch if essays by theorists and critics like Saussure, Jakobson, Bakhtin, Todorov, Derrida ... Foucault for my Theory and Criticism class. I won't lie, I do find what they have to say interesting and fascinating (to a certain extent) but it's just that ... getting through each and every single essay is soo tedious.

Basically, I feel like Penny when she's talking to Sheldon. Half the time, I have to re-read the sentence ten million times to understand what they're saying, which is why it's taking me so long to get through one essay. I suppose that's just the downfall for being intellectual: no one understands what you have to say.

It's like Dilton from the Archie comics, whenever he talked the speech bubble would just be: "!#^*&, (*)){"^$%}, +/~!@#&*%" Not to represent swearing, just to represent big words that no one else understood. (Typical Moose response to Dilton: "Duh...")

I'll give you guys an example:
This is from Derrida

"Thus it has always been thought that the center, which is by definition unique, constituted that very thing within a structure which while governing the structure, escapes structurally. This is why classical thought concerning structure could say that the center is, paradoxically, within the structure and outside it. The center is at the center of the totality, and yet, since the center does not belong to the totality, the totality has its center elsewhere. The center is not the center."

Ok Jacques Derrida, if the center is not the center, could you please call it something else! Naming something that it's not is EXTREMELY ANNOYING. Call it the origin or something.

It's like me naming a dog Cat.

"Cat likes to bark and Cat likes to dig holes. Cat also likes to chase cats, but Cat is not cat. Cat is dog."

I really have no idea how I'm going to do on this test. I've been trying to translate these essays into layman terms but it takes so bloody long. It's ok, I just have to hope that everyone else will fail so the professor has no choice but to bell curve the exam.

/Stressstreessstresstresscoffeehyperstresshyperstress

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My Favourite List

I love how the popularity of book lists never die. I found this list on fb, a couple of people were doing it, since books are awesome and all. I did this list a few years ago but I'm going to redo it again since I've read more books since then, plus I decided to post the list here so can refer back to it.


Bold=read

Italic=Will read soon


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen <-- "You have bewitched me mind body and soul." ROFL.

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte <-- Horror, suspense and gothic all in one

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling <-- "You're a wizard Harry!"

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible <-- Half bolded because I've pretty much read all of it except the boring bits i.e. leviticus

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman <-- I heard this was a really good series

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens <-- SOOO boring, but Dickens is hillarious

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller <-- Never even heard of this

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare <-- Half bolded, somewhat getting there

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien <-- Will have to re-read b/c I found it boring the first time

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger <-- I HATE HOLDEN CAULFIELD

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger <-- Really good book, too bad the movie SUCKED

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot <-- George Eliot is AWESOME!! Read Silas Marner ppl.

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald <-- Is on my syllabus

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky <-- Only b/c author is Russian, I've been reading Russian formalist essays recently and I want to see what the hype is about

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll <-- Alice on Crack

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame <-- Who?

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen <-- Actually can't remember whether I've read this or not

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen <-- Anne reminds me of me

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini <-- Good book, crappy ending

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden <-- I've read at least five times

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne <-- Tao of Pooh

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez <-- BEST BOOK EVER!

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery <-- Weird that I've never read this

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan <-- Blech. Crappy book.

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen <-- Was so-so. Watching the movie made it better for me since Hugh Grant was in it.

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon <-- THIS BOOK ANNOYED ME SOO MUCH! The main character is almost like Sheldon from BBT but the complete opposite.

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold <-- Got scammed into buying the book

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding <-- I prefer Princess Diaries

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker <-- On my syllabus

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce <-- Just because my proff always quotes James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante <-- Surprisingly, Tim Keller's view of Hell reminds me a lot of the Inferno. Only half bolded b/c I only read the first book.

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert <-- Will have to reread

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Ronald Dahl <-- Ronald was my childhood hero.

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo


Boo, apparently I suck because I've only read about 26/100. Also, for a book list that's predominately English, Russian or French, with some variety in between, I'm surprised it left out Robinson Crusoe, Guilliver's Travels and Paradise Lost plus classic English poets like Donne and Wordsworth. This list is also lacking African, First Nation and Asian literature THEREFORE I deem this list unsuitable! (But since I already went through it and bolded stuff I'm still going to post it)


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Abandoned and on being Too-Asian

I was 'studying' around 3 a.m. last night when I heard my mom say: "Pack the rice cooker!"


And my dad answers, "It's already in the car!"

So I went, "Huh?" It didn't occur to me to check and ask where they were planning to go with the rice cooker, since I may have just been hallucinating it all due to too much coffee and stress. I remember amusing myself with the thought that they were planning to run away together. Eventually, I had to go to the bathroom and ran into my mom, who was busily running up and down the stairs with her stuff.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"We're going to the thanksgiving conference in Ohio, we'll be back on Monday." Then, as an after thought she adds: "I don't know how you guys are going to eat."

WHAT?!

And get this: they actually left. It wasn't a joke. Apparently, my mom only thought of telling Annabelle that she was leaving BUT conveniently forgot to say that both of them were leaving.

If this isn't irresponsible parenting, I don't know what is. Even though I'm always day dreaming about how glorious life would be to live with my friends downtown and to get away from my parents, now that they actually just left like that, I have to admit that I kind of feel abandoned. Today all I kept thinking was: "Wow, they actually just left."

My oldest-child mentality kicked in high gear today. I called Annabelle a million times to make sure she was still alive, I made sure Matt got to work on time and that Aaron wasn't starving/burning the house down while he was by himself at home. I even checked up on the rabbit.

This has got to be weirdest thing that has happened to me in a while.

I got a text from my mom tonight telling me about the awesome view she has of downtown Ohio. I wasted no time spazzing out on her.

On a random note: I really do wish I had a house-elf to cook and clean for me though. I'd name it Twinkle and it can be friends with Winky and Kreacher. (If only Dobby didn't have to die) Ok, I know what you're thinking: Why is Ann imagining imaginary play dates between fictional house elves?! (I don't even know the answer myself.)

I also started to blog about the infamous Macleans article about nerdy Asian kids but I never finished that post because I got too lazy. If you haven't read the Macleans article yet, read it here: http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/11/10/too-asian/

Basically, the article is saying how Caucasian students are choosing not to go to schools like U of T because of the large Asian population. When I first read the article, I thought it was a joke, it sounded like the type of parody news that the Onion does. Unfortunately for the world of journalism, it was trying to be serious.

This post here basically sums up everything I thought about the article: http://ubyssey.ca/politickedoff/2010/11/25/hi-im-asian-and-im-here-to-destroy-canadian-values/

Personally, I don't think it's just the Asian students at U of T who hit the books with passion. It's a given that if you go to U of T (or any other universities for that matter) you won't have time to party, that is if you want to do well and go to grad school and end up with a decent career afterwards.

"Universities are about academia. They are intended to be institutions based on critical thought and free exchange of ideas. Completing an undergraduate degree is supposed to mean one is qualified to pursue graduate studies. While the insight gained during studies can be used in a career, university education has never been about providing practical skills to the general population" - The Varsity

A.k.a, not everyone is suited for university. A lot of students drop out of universities after realizing that it isn't right for them, a few of my coworkers have done this.

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Library Etiquette

Today I personally witnessed the worst kind of library abuse, making me feel like I should write a 'library etiquette' manual, since some people don't seem to know how to properly behave at the library.


I was sitting in the library this afternoon waiting for Jessie, after having been attacked by a squirrel. (Squirrels who are about to go into hibernation should never be teased with invisible peanuts.)

I sat at this table that was occupied by ONE GIRL. I reserved the spot next to me for Jessie, but then I spotted my sister trolling along with her huge backpack. I told her to sit on the last un-occupied spot when the girl said, "That seat is taken."

Annabelle didn't complain, since there were plenty of other seats. Jessie soon came and we were busy nerding it out. However, I soon noticed that it had been more than an hour and the girls invisible friend had yet to show up. I was getting annoyed with her, since 1) I suspected she was lying 2) She was sleeping behind her leather covered mac book.

Anyway, Colin showed randomly to study, but since half the table was taken up by sleeping beauty and her invisible friend, he left to go elsewhere.

Finally, the girl's friend, who happened to be her boyfriend, shows up. I was like, "Well, that's alright, since she wasn't lying."

But then she goes, "Can you guys watch our stuff for a bit?"

Having good library etiquette, Jessie and I answer yes.

She then leaves for two and a half hours! What a waste of space! Colin and Annabelle could have occupied those two spots, which would have come in handy since I was also working on the story board for Idea#4 (for the picture movie thing) and Colin was helping me.

So eventually I went to class, leaving Jessie by herself. When I got to class a few minutes later I received a text from her telling me that the couple came back and started making out.

WHAT.

Who makes out in the library like that?!? Seriously. What. A. Waste. Of. Space.

Anyway, I just came back to Gerstein just now (Annabelle and I usually leave campus at 9:15) and they're still at it. Not making out, just sitting there chatting. Grrr.

Oh and I know the guy too, he's in my Shakespeare class. I recognize him because he's a keener and sits in the front of the class and makes a lot of insightful comments. For someone who's so insightful, he's lacking serious library etiquette.

/endrant

---

But seriously, I was attacked by a squirrel. I learned how to do the squirrel call in first year when I saw this old guy feeding them.

Ann's useful tutorial#2:
How to make squirrel calls:

1)Put the top row of your teeth against the bottom. Do not clench your jaw.
2)Kiss your teeth, a.k.a make tsk-ing sounds by hitting your tongue against your teeth.
3)Keep kissing your teeth until the squirrel comes up to you.

And voila, you are now an expert on squirrel calling. This only works on campus squirrels though, since they're used to human interaction. Kinda like how if you threaten to kick a downtown pigeon it'll just 'coo stupidly at you.

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Stop Motion Picture Video

Speaking of that glorious month long break that I am extremely looking forward to, I was watching MysteryGuitarman's youtube video's and was inspired to actually get started on this stop motion picture film that I've been meaning to do. (May have posted about this before.)

I was thinking of doing a reenactment of the first Harry Potter book, but I realized that I might be setting the bar a little high. I should start off with something smaller.

Idea #1
Here's Annabelle's idea:
A boy and a girl, evidently in a relationship, walking hand in hand toward a bank of snow. The boy hands the girl a snowball, and slowly, they begin to make a snowman. As they are building the snowman, there are flashback scenes to happy days of their relationship. Once the snowman is completed, it will become apparent that they are about to make major decisions in their relationship. Then someone either kicks the snowman and destroys it or the snowman just slowly melts, thus foreshadowing the young couple's future.

Idea #2
Annabelle's idea is good and all, but it seems a little boring. Here's my idea:
A group of college age kids sitting around, broke, with no money. They then suddenly find a magical pot that makes instant food, which answers all of their problems since they will never go hungry again. They then dance around the pot praising it until someone breaks it.

Ok, so my idea sounds stupid, now that I think about it. (Shows you what kind of stupid stuff goes on in my head.)

Idea #3
We could have our own mini cardboard concert. I'll cut out cardboard guitar, bass, drums, key board etc. and pretend that we're jamming out on these cardboard instruments. The actual sound can be added on later when we edit the video. Then at the end there will be a shot of the fake audience, which happens to be a group of teddy bears/stuffed animals. (This seems dorky, but I'll make it cool. I should totally have this ready for the waffle party.)

Idea #4
A girl and a guy sitting on a sofa. The guy wants to tell the girl that he likes her but doesn't know how to do it. We dwell into what the guy is thinking via post it notes on the wall. There will be a thought bubble coming out of his head on how to impress the girl, like flowers. Then all the sudden he'll pull the flowers out of the thought bubble and give it to the girl. But the girl rejects the flowers. He'll keep doing this several more times for chocolate, jewelry and tickets to an expensive show, and each time the girl rejects him. Eventually he's disheartened and turns to video games for comfort. The girl sees him playing the video game and asks if she can play with him and that's when they end up clicking.

p.s.
I am now enlisting actors. Tell me if you are interested in acting. Haha.

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Life List:

1) I've only started watching The Big Bang Theory recently (slowly deviating away from Korean Drama's) and it's starting to become less interesting ever since Penny and Leonard started going out. The reason why the show caught my attention in the first place was because of how nerdy Sheldon and Leonard was, but every since Penny and Leonard started going out, meaning that there will be episodes devoted to their relationship, the show looses some of it's originality and becomes predictable. Plus their relationship doesn't have any dimension to it, all they do is sleep with each other.

2) I've been working crazy hours lately because my coworker is sick. Instead of becoming extremely annoyed by this I've:
i) Decided that it's a good thing, since I'll have money.
ii) Decided to take this as a life challenge. Instead of becoming depressed that I have no time to study and complaining about life and work in general, I will work around it and accomplish everything I have to do.

3) I think I've managed to completely piss Mona off. I openly admit that I am a crappy friend. But if it makes her feel any better, I've been pretty much ignoring everyone since I don't have time in my hands to un-ignore people. For example: today I didn't text anyone, with the exception of my mom when I told her I bought the waffle maker.

4) I bought a waffle maker, I'm thinking of having a waffle party.

5) I want to make my own 'Bingo' video like David Choi with a group of friends.

6) I am going through a frumpy phase. A frumpy phase is the equivalent of girls having 'fat days.' I am feeling frumpy because all my clothes have stains and holes. I need new clothes.

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Elephant Conundrum

I was feeling extremely brain dead and unable to function properly today, which was unfortunate since I found myself in a conversation about Christianity with a couple of people today. I don't know why I always get into these conversations, but I suppose it's because most of my friends have been seeking some sort of spiritual purpose.


When I was in first year, I found myself in a group of friends who believed in the B'hai faith. The B'hai faith essentially believes that all religions lead up to the same God, and the different religions lead up to this God. Sort of like how you can take many different roads to reach a certain destination. Some may drive a car, some may walk, some may take the plane there or some people might bike there.

As always, since this is the only spiritual book I'm reading at the moment, this reminded me of a passage from 'The Reason for God.' It's really interesting:

"Each religion sees part of spiritual truth, but none can see the whole truth."

Sometimes this point is illustrated with the story of the blind men and the elephant. Several blind men were walking along and came upon an elephant that allowed them to touch and feel it. "This creature is long and flexible like a snake" said the first blind man, holding the elephants trunk. "Not at all - it is thick and round like a tree trunk," said the second blind man, feeling the elephant's leg. "No, it is large and flat," said the third blind man, touching the elephant's side. Each blind man could feel only part of the elephant - none could envision the entire elephant. In the same way, it is argued, the religions of the world each have a grasp on part of the truth about spiritual reality, but none can see the whole elephant or claim to have a comprehensive vision of the truth.

This illustration backfires on its users. The story is told from the point of view of someone who is not blind. How could you know that each blind man only sees part of the elephant unless you claim to be able to see the whole elephant?

How could you possibly know that no religion can see the whole truth unless you yourself have superior, comprehensive knowledge of spiritual reality you claimed that one of the religions have?

---

My point is that the B'hai faith can't claim that they have the whole truth of all spiritual reality since the only claim they have is their own religion, and don't study other faiths, thought hey claim to believe in it as well. (They have their own bible.)

I'm not claiming that Christianity will have the whole picture of the elephant and know all spiritual truths/reality, but what I do know is that through God I have spiritual peace/purpose and am not out there seeking for other things to fulfill this need.

Philippians 3:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I was at peace afterwards, since I have nothing to worry/be anxious about life in general. Everything will work itself out. (Insert Peace sign here)

Anyway, I feel like I have to share my spiritual going ons with you all since it might help someone somewhere out there. It's strange that a lot of people my age are seeking something, even Mona, whom I haven't spoken to in a while. She always asks me why I was so 'religious' (her way of saying spiritual) even in my darkest days, then asked me a whole bunch of religious questions I couldn't answer.

But one thing that I'd have to say is really cool is that if you look back to the beginning of when I started this blog a year ago, I was spiritually dead. I use to complain about Christianity how I didn't care. (This is one of the cool things about having a diary/blog.) Big change huh? I went from not caring at all to caring for other peoples spirituality. I really am a lot happier now than I was a year ago.

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Female Body

Hello fellow readers, this blog post will be a response to Manley's post on the female body.

Here's a link: http://ramblebamble.posterous.com/

It reminded me of a coworker I use to have after I read it. I once had a coworker who was very curvacious. I suppose some people could say that she was fat, but it didn't look like fat to me, it just looked like curves. She was also gorgeous, one of those Italian women with fine chiseled face, big lips and long, black straight hair that grew as fast as weeds.

But she wasn't happy with her body. She kept on emphasizing how she was 'working out' and kept on telling everyone that she did x amount of sit ups the night before. I never once thought that she had low self esteem, because in my head I always thought, "How can someone so gorgeous have low self esteem?!"

However, I should have clued in that she had low self esteem because of the way she talked. She kept on complaining about everyone and everything, and at times I couldn't quite tell whether she was serious with the snide remarks she was making to me.

Anyway, she was eventually fired. It wasn't until afterwards when someone else pointed out to me that she had a huge problem with her body image and had low self esteem. I was in shock. I would have never guessed, in a million years, that she would have had an issue with her body, since like I said, she was GORGEOUS.

So apparently, even gorgeous women have issues with their body. Personally, I've always been fine with my body. I use to be extremely shy, so the skinnier and more invisible I was, the better.

Also, a lot of women have issues with their chest size. My ex-coworker was very curvy, which also means that she also didn't have anything to complain about her chest size. But now that I think back, I think she may have a problem with that too, from the comments she would make.
(She often spoke in Italian to my other coworkers, which was very rude, I suppose it was to keep me out of the conversation. I could tell what she was always talking about though because she talked a lot with her hands.)

I guess it doesn't matter what size your chest is, you'll always have problems. I have come to terms with the fact that I'm flat chested: 1) I'll never have to worry about sagging, 2) I can see my feet when I look down and 3) I can fit into anything type of clothing I want.

To each their own. When it comes down to it, it's all about having the right amount of self esteem.

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Plagiarized

So I had Peter edit my rushed essay (To hear the story of how I met Peter, press 1, to continue reading me babbling about my life, press 2.) since I was worried that my essay sucked ballz.


I was re-reading the edited version of my essay just now, and here's the problem: IT IS TOO PERFECT. Holy crappers, like I have to give Peter an extra big tip or something, he polished my essay so much (grammatically, he didn't change any of the content) that it's shinny-ness and perfect grammar (something this blog is lacking) is killing me.

What do I do what do i do what do i doooooooo
What if my professor yells at me?!? What if he thinks I plagiarized?!? He's going to think "This essay is lacking grammatical mistakes, which is almost impossible for a stressed undergrad to achieve. PLAGIARIZED!"

Eeeekkkk! Though I'm making this into a laughing matter, I'm actually quite scared. What if this is the end of my undergrad career?!?

And although it's shinny and all, I'm afraid I'm still going to fail this paper because the content sucks!!! Oh Lord, just pls give me a B- ... that's all I'm asking for. Forget the A++, too late for that now, all I want is a B-.

Ok, calm down calm down calm down.

I was having a craptastic night since I got back my quiz from my class and I NEARLY FAILED since I apparently read the instructions wrong. I was really mad at myself. Like, EXTREMELY UPSET (Ask my sister, she witnessed the entire thing.) At least now I know for next time.

But then I got home and laughed a lot, all thanks to Tabitha and Colin. Yay for friends to provide laughter.

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Small Things

I found myself in bed this morning trying to cheer myself up. I gave myself a pep talk, starting with the little things.


I said: Ann, if you get up, you can watch an episode of the big bang theory. And you can have tea and adobo. Then you can curl your hair whichever way you like. And then you can talk to Annabelle. Then you can edit your essay, which really won't be that bad. Then you can call that Peter guy to edit your essay tomorrow. And then you can go to work and not have a sucky time.

I find these mini pep talks useful, if you start with the small things and go on from there, you'll realize that the situation you're in really isn't that bad.

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Slow and Steady Will Drive Me to My Grave

I feel like blogging in the middle of the night.


I was serving my favourite customer today (I'm being sarcastic) who shall be nicknamed 'Panty Knot' since she always acts like her lady undergarments are bunched up. I have had a long history with this customer. At first, we had a decent customer-sales associate relationship. I was amused with the thin, white mustache she always had on her upper lip (might be lipgloss, who knows) and the fact that my other coworkers feared her.

Secretly, I thought I could tame the knot with my winning smile and friendly service. Sadly, my noble quest of taming the shrew ended when she threw a shoebox across the counter and told me to go to hell when I refused to return an item she bought.

My encounters with Panty Knot gradually became worse, she accused me of having terrible service, threatened to never shop there anymore, cursed some more, yadda yadda yadda ....

So today, I was busy running around serving customers, when all the sudden I hear Panty Knot's voice saying, "Can I get service around here?! I'm not feeling well!"

I look up, and to my dismay, Panty Knot has approached the counter with her milky mustache. She then swings her cane over the counter and nearly hits the customer I was helping. Wanting to rid of her quickly, I followed these simple three steps:

1) Get her phone number
2) Have her pay
3) Give her the item

Usually, people do not complain about fast service, but like always, she had something to complain about.

Panty Knot says: "Slow down! I told you I'm not feeling well, why are you trying to rush me!"

I start feeling bad, since she could legitimately be sick. So I linger around while she inspects her item. She holds the unfortunate shirt up and turns it around. Then she puts it down on the counter, so I ask, "Is it ok?"

"Why are you trying to rush me!" She snaps.

"It's because you put your shirt down, so I assumed you were done looking at it!" I snap back.

I then divert my attention to someone else before we ended up yelling at each other across the counter.

Anyway, so after my shift, I reflected back on what Panty Knot said about my going too fast. She hasn't been the only one who has accused me of being fast lately. My siblings often have a hard time trying to keep up with me when I'm walking, then I did just write my essay really quickly, and I do have a bad habit of making fast decisions.

If I keep it up at this rate, I'm going to suffer some serious indigestion. This bad habit might be from the fact that society is always in such a fast pace, and that I'm afraid that if I slow down, I'll be left behind.

Tomorrow I'm going to challenge myself by being extra slow. I will eat slowly, talk to Panty Knot slowly, walk slowly and be extra patient. I am going to stop being in a hurry all the time and breath in the foggy air.

The only thing I refuse to slow down on is typing. Nothing is worse than a slow typer.

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Divine Providence

Sometimes I feel like things are just going too fast for me, or that I just work at a super speed pace and I'm doing things wrong.


I started to suspect that something might be wrong with me a couple of weeks ago (alright, this is a lie. I've always suspected something was wrong with me.) when I was writing this essay about polar ice caps and I finished it in one afternoon. I was like, "Wait, this can't be right, how did I finish this so fast?"

So I don't even know if I failed the essay or not because I skipped class yesterday to go to Snakes and Lattes with Matt and Manley, which means I never got my paper back. I may have completely bombed it, who knows.

Then this morning, I was writing my essay for Shakky, I started and finished it in a few rough hours. (Granted I did all the research beforehand, but putting it all together into words should take me longer)

Now I'm scared, why did I write it so fast?! Am I even doing this correctly?!? Is this going to be a F-- instead of A++? But seriously, when I try and slow down and write an essay slowly, I panic that I don't have enough time to write it and go super speed.

Then I read a friends blog and realized that maybe my fingers have been taken over by some divine providence and that God was typing my essay for me. Lord, if you took over my fingers and typed this essay for me, this better be an A++. (Kidding)

Ok, ignore this nonsense. I'm writing all this because I'm in panic mode.

So I've never really shared my desire to be a teacher when I grow up with you guys before, but the truth comes out now: I, as a typical of all English majors, am aspiring to be a teacher after I graduate. Although the thought of molding impressionable little minds into worthwhile citizens that I would want to live beside sounds appealing to me, I AM SCARED.

1) I am sacred that I will never get into teachers college. Panic panic panic.
2) I am scared that I don't know enough to teach them. (there's nothing worse than a stupid teacher.)
3) I am scared that I will never get into teachers college. Panic panic panic.

I guess my very rational fear of never getting accepted into teachers college is why I never want to talk about my future career choice. (Instead I tell everyone about my back up plan: Which is to work at Sears for the rest of my life) I freaked myself out in the bus the other day, when I was suddenly hit with the realization that I will have to apply NEXT YEAR and possibly be rejected by next year.

Deep breaths x 100.

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The time I failed using the Oxford English Dictionary

Another reason why I fail in life: I gave the online Oxford English Dictionary too much credit.


I went crazy yesterday trying to figure out how the Oxford English Dictionary could possibly give me historical data. Example of my stupidity: I was trying to figure out historical data on Shakky's poem, Rape Of Lucrece. Apparently, and I don't know why this wasn't obvious to me, I just read my essay topic wrong and OED online only has definitions.

Gahhh I wasted so much time taking the OED apart... I feel so dumb. T.T
My proff seriously needs to be more clear with his instructions, or was I just reading too much into it? I tend to do that, since as an English student all I ever do is over analyze things. Subconsciously, I was probably trying to find a secret hidden message with the instructions which will lead me to that desired grade of A++.

Lesson learned: There was no hidden message. The OED is just a dictionary.

Yesterday I was thinking of how I should probably make my blog a more useful resource, like Manley's food blog. I could always just blab about books I've read and have a book blog, (A blook) but book blogs are snobby.

Anyway, I decided to be useful and write about how you can incorporate Shakespeare into your everyday conversations. Sounds fun :)

Because I'm writing an essay about The Rape of Lucrece, we'll start off with that.
Ann's Shakky lesson #1

So let's say your friend is complaining about the newly elected mayor in Toronto. Your friend says, "I don't like the newly elected mayor of Toronto."

Then you say, "Just be glad he hasn't raped his first retainers wife."

Your friend will say, "Wtf?"

Then you say, "Shakespeare has this poem called The Rape of Lucrece where the king of Rome, Tarquin, rapes his retainers wife, Lucrece."

Your friend will say, "What?"

Then you say, "It was because Collatine, her husband showed her off in front of Tarquin making Tarquin jealous and envious. Anyway, do you want me to continue or am I just going to ruin the ending for you?"

Your friend will say, "I don't think I'm ever going to read it."

Then you say, "Well I'll just spoil it for you then. Lucrece ends up stabbing herself. Then her father, husband and Brutus went around the streets of Rome showing off her dead body, which led to Tarquin and his family being booted off the throne. And that was when the government in Rome changed from kings to consuls."

And if your friend is polite, s/he will stay and listen to you babble on, and say "That's um, fascinating. I didn't know you read Shakespeare."

And you say, "Yeah I've read tons of his plays and sonnets. But The Rape of Lucrece shows off just how smart Shakky is because it's all about the psychology of his characters."

Your friend will say, "Shakky?!"

Then you say, "Oh, just a nickname I gave Shakespeare."

Then your friend runs away.

So, I hope you guys learned something, and that this will be useful to you guys in your conversations/ever want to show off.

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Loneliness Phobia

I can't believe Kev and Michael are out of the Amazing Race!!!! T.T My heart was pumping so much during this last episode. Oh well, I'm going to continue watching the show, the next team I'm voting for is Nat and Cat because they've landed in first place at least 3 times.

I'm on a 'two day reading week' from school. Don't know why they didn't just give us the whole week off. But this is good, since this is the first time I'll be spending the whole day at home in months, I've been busy lately running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Also, because I've made the conscious decision to pretty much spend the whole day with MYSELF, this means that I have pretty much cured myself of my 'loneliness phobia.'

I've been suffering with 'loneliness phobia' for months, which is why I always had be out and doing something. I NEVER wanted to be alone, and when I would go to bed, I'd always have my lights/radio on. But deleting my twitter was the first step to curing myself, ha. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has suffered with this, being alone with your thoughts sucks. This odd phobia of mine may have started this past summer when I spent way too much time by myself.

So as some of you may have remembered, and I may have mentioned this to some of you as well, yesterday was Nov.7 WHICH would have been my one year milestone. I had anticipated for weeks that yesterday would have been the saddest day of my life and that I'd mope around all day. When Amy asked me to see a Hedley movie with her on Nov.7 I hesitated because our first official date was to the movies, it would be too nostalgic. Luckily, a couple of my friends were having a combined birthday party yesterday, which I gladly said yes to since I figured being surrounded by a lot of people was just what I needed.

But then last week, I was completely swamped with things to do. I only have classes three days a week, and they're pretty much full days of studying and reading. Then I worked a bazillion hours on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. On Friday, I opened and went to lighthouse afterwards, then went to see Megamind with Tabs and Emily, so I ended up getting home seriously late. Then I had to wake up early the next day to go to work, afterwards I went to have dinner with my grandparents, and as a result got food comma. I went to bed right after and next thing I knew, it was Sunday, the dreaded Nov.7.

Basically, yesterday I went to church in the morning, then to work afterwards, then went to the party. It wasn't until we started to sing nostalgic sappy love songs that night with Selina's Karaoke Machine did I remember that it was the 7th. This was around 11 at night WHICH means I only had 1 hour to mope, but I didn't even mope because I was like, "This is stupid." If I had gone through the entire day without remembering, and had basically forgotten about it, it means that it means nothing to me anymore. (Which I had suspected for a while now.)

I also have had my novel to distract me from a lot of my own thoughts. I haven't been diligently recording my progress in this blog. I already have a plot and I've been trying to conjure up characters in my head. Hannah gave me these psychological profiles/tests which has helped me a lot. I took a test and apparently I'm an ESFJ, but Hannah and I both suspect that the test was inaccurate and that I'm actually an ISFJ. I'll explain this later -_-, its actually super fascinating.

Time to write my 'essay'.

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