Sometimes I feel like things are just going too fast for me, or that I just work at a super speed pace and I'm doing things wrong.
I started to suspect that something might be wrong with me a couple of weeks ago (alright, this is a lie. I've always suspected something was wrong with me.) when I was writing this essay about polar ice caps and I finished it in one afternoon. I was like, "Wait, this can't be right, how did I finish this so fast?"
So I don't even know if I failed the essay or not because I skipped class yesterday to go to Snakes and Lattes with Matt and Manley, which means I never got my paper back. I may have completely bombed it, who knows.
Then this morning, I was writing my essay for Shakky, I started and finished it in a few rough hours. (Granted I did all the research beforehand, but putting it all together into words should take me longer)
Now I'm scared, why did I write it so fast?! Am I even doing this correctly?!? Is this going to be a F-- instead of A++? But seriously, when I try and slow down and write an essay slowly, I panic that I don't have enough time to write it and go super speed.
Then I read a friends blog and realized that maybe my fingers have been taken over by some divine providence and that God was typing my essay for me. Lord, if you took over my fingers and typed this essay for me, this better be an A++. (Kidding)
Ok, ignore this nonsense. I'm writing all this because I'm in panic mode.
So I've never really shared my desire to be a teacher when I grow up with you guys before, but the truth comes out now: I, as a typical of all English majors, am aspiring to be a teacher after I graduate. Although the thought of molding impressionable little minds into worthwhile citizens that I would want to live beside sounds appealing to me, I AM SCARED.
1) I am sacred that I will never get into teachers college. Panic panic panic.
2) I am scared that I don't know enough to teach them. (there's nothing worse than a stupid teacher.)
3) I am scared that I will never get into teachers college. Panic panic panic.
I guess my very rational fear of never getting accepted into teachers college is why I never want to talk about my future career choice. (Instead I tell everyone about my back up plan: Which is to work at Sears for the rest of my life) I freaked myself out in the bus the other day, when I was suddenly hit with the realization that I will have to apply NEXT YEAR and possibly be rejected by next year.
Deep breaths x 100.
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