Lately, I've been reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (this is the novel I was complaining on having to do a presentation on). In short, it's about a young woman, named Tess, who gets assaulted by this guy named Alec. She ends up marrying Angel Clare, who

abandons her because of the assault. Then Alec convinces her that her husband will never come back for her, so Tess becomes his mistress. Turns out, Angel Clare does return after realizing he was wrong for abandoning her and Tess ends up murdering Alec. She runs off with Angel Clare, only to have the police arrest with her and have her hanged (or something like that, I'm not too sure what the ending is since I haven't exactly finished it, heh).

And lately, I've been watching Downton Abbey, a period drama series set in England before the start of WWI (in the first season that is). It's such a good drama. In this series, Lady Mary takes a lover, and when Matthew, her suitor-cousin (back in the days when people were allowed to marry their cousins, creepy) proposes to her, she decides that she will tell him about her lover.

Her grandmother, the Countess of Grantham, says something like, "Must she tell him? Everyone only tells half the story when they get married." (Btw, the actor who plays the Countess is the same actor who played Professor McGonagall in Harry Potter.)

Which got me thinking. Is it absolutely necessary to tell your future spouse everything? Or is it enough to just tell half the truth? What if, like Angel Clare, they abandon you? I'm pretty sure Matthew is going to abandon Mary when he hears that she hasn't been virtuous.

This sounds like a pretty daunting task. I almost feel like I have to just hand Mr. M. a list and be like, "Here you go, read it and weep. Let me know if you decide to abandon me before the wedding day so I can cancel the hall in time to get the deposit back."

I suppose it's good to have an open relationship and be truthful, but I almost feel like it isn't necessary to have to tell them everything about the past. I know you guys are going to disagree with me, and I think even Joshua Harris wrote against this in Boy Meets Girl.

It's kind of like this:

Let's say one day you meet someone new. Before you decide you guys are best friends, you give them a warning:

Me: So, just so you know, before we become bosom buddies and best friends for life, I tend to steal from my friends. In the past I've stolen their pokemon cards, Harry Potter dvd's and cool pencils from their pencil cases. Also, one time I blackmailed a friend into buying me this expensive Coach bag. And this one time I made a friend cry by calling her fat, because, let's face it, she really was fat. You still in?

Friend: Uh, sorry, but that other person over there looks like they'd make a better friend than you. [Abandons ship]

Also, this is like being in a relationship and you dig up your partners past relationships before you. Once you find out who that person is, you facebook stalk them and obsess over them and the places they went and the things they did, which is not healthy (don't lie kids, you've all done this, even if it was only a crush).

I'd say, selectively spill the beans, but not all of it at once.