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Life and Death of an Invisible Dog

Last week while in the car with John, Selina, Johnny and Amy Tang, I accidentally mortifyingly revealed that I once had an invisible pet dog named Pou-Pou. It slipped out after I lost a moment of consciousness.


Basically, John spotted police cars and said, "look it's the po-po."

To which I automatically said something along the lines of, "that's the name of my dog."

"You had a dog?"

"An invisible one..."

The cat is out of the bag, I'm unfortunately crazier than you guys probably thought. But one good thing came out of this: now you guys get to read the story behind my invisible dog. Hoorah.

The short lived life of Pou-Pou began and ended when I was in Grade 5. Just the year before, I had moved to a new school, so the teachers were unconvinced of my French skills. During French class, instead of participating in the same lesson as the rest of the kids, they put me in a corner and made me read a series of small French books that ranged from different levels of difficulty.

I found this tediously boring, especially since I found the books easy to read and I brushed through them quickly. When I was nearing the end of the books, I decided to slow down because I preferred sitting in the corner by myself reading than participating in the lesson, so I began to copy the pictures in the book and doodle them. That's when I came across a French dog named Zou-Zou.

Zou-Zou was a pink, female dog. I thought she was cute, but at the time I thought, "pink is a stupid colour and I don't like the name Zou-Zou. I am going to change it to Pou-Pou and make it blue instead." (Yes, Pou-Pou was blue and male.)

So that's how it happily started. I began doodling Pou-Pou everywhere in different scenarios with different facial expressions. And since Pokemon was the big hype at the time, Pou-Pou became my pocket dog and I argued with people that he would make a good Pokemon.

I would be like, "Pou-Pou is better than Pikachu. Pikachu says 'pika-pika' but Pou-Pou says 'po-po' which is cuter and that is why he would make a good Pokemon."

Man, I was such a dork. I'm surprised I even had friends.

Anyway, so Pou-Pou died in Aaron's birthday party that year. Aaron basically had this massive birthday party, and someone gave him white putty that would harden when dried. I decided to make a 3D Pou-Pou, and he lost his effect afterwards. I would stop imagining Pou-Pou in my pocket (because he was my pocket dog) since I knew he was at home, all 3D-like on my desk.

And that's the story. Thinking back, I was 9/10 when this all happened, which is a little bit late and immature for a 9/10 year old to be doing. My 10 year old cousin certainly doesn't have an invisible dog, he's too busy playing basketball all the time. Or maybe this was just the beginning of my odd imagination, after all, I did start reading HP when I was in Grade 5.

Nota Bene: And this is precisely why I don't freely give the link to my blog to just anyone. It's so I'll be able to keep track of who knows about my invisible dog, and that I'm not just exposing myself to everyone (though techinically I am because this is on the internet). There has to be a mutual trade of embarrassment and exposure of ones odd quirks. Sorry if this creates division or a sense of inclusiveness.

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What I have been up to:

I've been really busy lately, and but in hindsight, I should have seen this coming. I didn't think that working two jobs and taking summer school would be that much, but it actually is quite a bit. Working doesn't really bother me, it's when I have to sit and study that it hits me just how much I have to do. But I shouldn't complain because this is how I wanted it.

Teaching has been an interesting experience though. I have a new found respect for teachers since teaching is a LOT of work and requires a LOT of preparation and then a LOT of time afterwards marking. I've decided that if I have to spend this much time on something, it might as well be teaching and helping kids reach their full potential through what I can possibly help them with.

I was teaching the kids today how to write an essay. Although this sounds easy and simple, I was really confused on how to go about it just because the more I thought about it, the more I realized how complicated writing an essay actually is. Basically, I teach four kids at a time. The first group I had were high schoolers, so I explained it in more detail to them, but when I had to teach the Junior High kids, I was worried I didn't make sense to them. Most of them had never written an essay before, so an essay is something completely abstract and new to them. Then I made a mistake of trying to teach a fourth grader how to write an essay. He got super confused and didn't understand anything I said.

Ok that's all. My mom is bugging me because she wants me to decorate a cake for her. Tomorrow is Daniel's (my second cousin) first birthday and she promised the relatives that she'd bake the cake, and since she's an over achiever, she decided to make two cakes instead of one. I've already decorated the Nemo cake for her, she wants me to make a bear cake. I just want to sleep -_-

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Vengeance Part Two

Because I'm a night owl, I find it hard to sleep early, but since I have a four hour lecture bright and early tomorrow morning, I've been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours to no avail. So far I've completed 5 sudoku puzzles, read Bathroom Readers extensively, and tried fruitlessly to set up my email on my blackberry (I am terrible when it comes to electronics, it took me months to figure out how to use my macbook).


But I think I've figured out why my brain won't shut off: it's because I'm too busy occupying myself with thoughts of vengeance. This is a completely different, and unrelated, type of vengeance that I posted about in my last post.

Here's the story:
Today at work, I was busy fiddling around with a binder, trying to look for a phone number, when suddenly a bunch of loose leaf papers fell on the ground. Just as it fell, two managers walked pass me, as if they didn't just see what happened. My coworker, who witnessed the entire scenario, commented one word, "Wow."

I pretended to be cool about it, like I didn't care that they snubbed me or the fact that they were too busy to be a gentleman and help pick up the papers I've dropped, but inwardly, I was boiling with rage.

To explain why this made me boil in rage I have to back track a bit. Earlier that day, an extremely rude customer was dumped on me by another manager. Since the situation was beyond what I can do, I called another manager to help me, but she basically just told me to call corporate customer service and walked away. The customer was extremely upset and began swearing on the top of his lungs that he was never going to shop there ever again, and that Wal-Mart was about to swallow us whole because it's a much better company yadda-yadda ...

The fact that two managers refused to do their jobs properly and dump their problems on me made me extremely upset. This is not the first time this has happened, in fact, this happens a lot. And so when the paper incident happened, I had had enough. Maybe it's because I'm too meek and unspoken that they trample over me, but seriously, I personally think that as a manager, you have to have at least the basic manners down.

Basic manners include:
1) Greeting associates when you see them. A simple hello won't kill you.
2) Acknowledgment of an associates existence outside of needing their help.
3) Having the courtesy to pick up papers that someone may have dropped.

I was seething in rage after my shift, and I furiously texted Nat about everything I disliked about everyone. I was like, "Nat, before we quit, we should pull a prank on all of them as vengeance!"

Looking back on it now, I don't think my emotional reactions were ungrounded. Anyway, so I can put my mind at ease and finally sleep, I'm going to make a list of pranks I that I won't do because it'd be too mean:

Prank#1
Gather all the pens and lock them up.
Why this would be too mean: Pens are extremely important and often go missing. Locking it up would require them to look for the right key, and there are millions of keys.

Prank#2
Somehow figure out how to lock the music on the Country Music channel. Basically, at work we have this box with different channels, and each channel is a different genre.
Why this would be too mean: Country Music would drive everyone insane.

Prank#3
Pop all the balloons.
Why this would be too mean: For some reason, the managers place high importance on balloons and often ask me to blow them up/put them on sticks. The sound of balloons being popped would not only damage everyone's hearing for half the day, but it would also mean they won't have any balloons.

Prank#4
Put a 'NOT IN SERVICE' sign on the associate restroom.
Why this would be too mean: Everyone will have to use the same restroom as the customers, and believe me, it always stinks.

Ok my pranks are lame.

Amy Tang accused me the other week of taking work too seriously. I think the reason why I've been taking it seriously lately is because Zovig is gone and I have no one to save my butt, which means I have to save my own butt.

Gonna try and sleep again, instead of counting sheep maybe I should count how many lame pranks I can come up with.

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On Vengeance

Admittedly, at first I didn't update my blog because I had writers block about my life, but eventually, I stayed away from blogging because I was upset. I gave myself a rule and told myself to never blog when I'm upset or pissed off, since I know I would regret it later. Only hateful words would come out of blogging when you're pissed off.


Inwardly, I think I'm terrible, mean and stubborn. When I get into a fight with someone, all I want to do is do terrible things back at them. I'm not like Tabi or my sister, who like to resolve conflicts right away. If someone, let's say a customer, pisses me off, I take extra measures to be cold and rude to that person. I can't help it, I feel like I have to justify being yelled at or being scolded, especially if I feel like I wasn't at fault. I always seek for vengeance, and often, that vengeance takes place in the form of the silent treatment.

Obviously my inability to resolve conflicts has led me to deep trouble. My sister often lectures me about the dangers of having unresolved conflicts, about it being damaging in the long run. I just find it extremely hard to resolve conflicts if the other person has seriously annoyed/pissed me off/offended me though.

So I was talking to Tabi about my issues and we ended up praying about it. Praying often becomes exposing since I feel like I end up laying down all my faults. It was good that I was able to pray about it with Tabi though, since I felt like it helped me see beyond my pent up, pissed off emotions, to what is important.

This also reminds of John's post about what Jacob said. I do feel like I am sinning by holding a grudge and being stubborn, since Annabelle is right: this would eventually hinder my relationship with God. Instead of wanting to amend things with my own effort, which I obviously cannot do because of who I naturally am, I should I should look towards the bigger picture and see what God wants me to do. Looking at things in this way is much easier and simpler than looking at it from my perspective. From my point of view, it's all about hate and vengeance and silent treatments and bitterness. From God's point of view, it's just forgiveness and love.

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Far East Movement

Or as I like to call them: FEM.

Amy Tang, Manley and I went to their concert last week Tuesday. Being partners in crime with Amy Tang when it comes to concerts (I'm her lackey), we made our way to the kool hause where we had gone to once before to see Sum41 (and got to meet them backstage!).

This concert was a bit daunting in some ways. Usually, whenever Amy and I go to concerts we're either 1) the oldest 2) one of the few Asians there, but since this is FEM, most of the audience would obviously be Asian. Plus, the reason this particular concert was free is because once a year, the student unions at U of T, Ryerson and York collaborate to put together a concert for ??? cause. (I really don't know what reason the universities would have to collaborate and do this. Amy Tang will have to tell you in the comments below.)

So anyway, the reason this concert was somewhat daunting was because there was one girl (who apparently goes to U of T. If I ever see her on campus I'm going to give her the evil eye) who is basically a massive peeve. She and her group of ten friends squeezed their way through the crowd and unfortunately scouted out my spot as their prey. Since guys are not allowed to touch girls in concerts, her friends appointed her to push me out of the way. They would push her to push me, but thankfully, Manley and Amy were on my other side to push me to push her. Come to think of it, the day after the concert I was complaining to Ariel how my sides hurt. This is probably the reason why.

Eventually Manley and I managed to push her, causing her to stumble so she yelled "stop pushing me!"

Throughout the first half of the concert, she kept grinding up on my bag as an attempt to push me out of the way. I got tired of her and gave her my coveted spot. As soon as I moved away she turned back to look at me all innocent like as if she hadn't just molested my bag.

But there was another girl who was like "are you ok?! Why did you move?! Stand here so you can see."

The other girl continued to use her butt powers to push other people out of the way, so it wasn't just me. But I guess it's a good thing her butt is good for something, I only use mine to sit on.

Picture time:
My favourite is the monkey ^^


















Mustache picture, but it looks more like we've caught a whiff of bad B.O.


We did a series of stupid face pictures, but Amy Tang looked normal in all of them ...



We weren't attempting to look stupid in this one, it just turned out bad.




And here's a picture of last, last week's Sunday dinner at my Grandma's.

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My God is the God who Provides

I've always considered myself a somewhat lucky person. I have never really had to work hard for anything, and in some ways, things just land on my lap (but this could change in an instant). Ok, I'm going to get a little TMI here, so skip this part if you're feeling queasy. When I was born, the placenta from the womb was wrapped around me. I think the placenta is suppose to come separately, but it was loosely wrapped around my hairy baby self. Anyway, so the doctor took it, hung it to dry and gave it to my dad to keep. The doctor deemed this lucky since this doesn't usually happen, and so ever since then, my family has always considered me lucky (my dad eventually gave the dried placenta to me to keep. It's my only lucky charm, haha).


But maybe it's not an omen for luck, maybe it's just an omen for being God blessed, or being loved by God. It's kind of like I'm a small fish in this big river who just swims along with the current of the water. The water is like God, who directs me in whichever way, and if I try to swim the other direction, the strong water current pushes me back.

When it comes to part-time jobs, I've always felt like they've landed on my lap in a lucky - if not somewhat haphazardous - way. Here's a list of my job history:

1) Bourbon Chicken
You know, that fast food place that specializes in chicken, such as Bourbon, Honey, Black Grilled and Jambalaya chicken. I worked in two locations, the one at Yorkdale and the one at the Promenade. This job was extremely random. I gave in my resume and the next day I got a call from Wendy, my first (not to mention extremely boisterous) manager. Basically, everyone there spoke little English and only spoke Cantonese, but even though I could not understand a word that they were saying, she hired me anyway. It was an interesting experience, at night the cook let me take home the left over chicken and mashed potatoes. And for a while after I quit, every time I passed by them in the food court they gave me a free drink.

2) Sears
Yeah, this was really random and lucky. So basically, I asked for an application and kept it in my bag for months without filling it out. One day, I was was fed up with Bourbon Chicken, and decided to get over my laziness and filled out the application. The moment I handed it in, Zovig, my manager, took it and asked me to come back the next day for an interview.

It turns out, just the day before, this guy named Ron had just quit and they were looking for a replacement. I had just handed in the application and resume at the right time. I'm also really lucky to be in my department, since Zovig is the best manager anyone can ever have. She's saved my butt ten million times and is extremely kind hearted. When I first started working there, she tried to preach the gospel to me. She's really smart too, she has an undergraduate in Chemical Engineering and speaks 5 different European languages (unfortunately, she has sever allergic reactions to many of the chemicals she had to work with so she had to quit).

I just realized that my work anniversary at Sears is coming up. I started working there on May 21st in 2008, which means I've been there for three years. Hoorah (?!?).

3) ELC
That's right, I have a new tutoring job!

Basically, ever since first year, I have always gone to the U of T career website to apply for tutoring jobs to no avail. I have never heard back from anyone, ever. I suppose it's because they just have a lot of people from the university applying, so I was surprised that this year, I received a reply from three tutoring places. ELC was random since it's somewhat near my place (the other two places I heard back from was in Scarborough and downtown) and they were only looking for ONE English tutor.

Anyway, it's no secret that I want to go abroad after I graduate and teach English in a foreign country. I thought of going to China for a while, but it wasn't until recently that I changed my mind and decided I wanted to go to South Korea instead. Truthfully though, I really didn't know anything about the process on how to go about this, WHICH IS WHY I'm super lucky that I got a job at ELC.

Basically, the guy who owns ELC's name is Jason Park, or Jay Park for short. He went to U of T for science and business and runs ELC along with another company. I had my interview today, and he asked me what I wanted to do after I graduated, so I mentioned that I wanted to go abroad and teach in South Korea for a bit. Obviously being Korean himself, he gave me all sorts of advice, such as what to do and how to go about it, etc. The entire time he was giving his spiel I just kept thinking, "thank you, thank you, thank you so much Lord for giving me this person to help me." Seriously. This is probably the best blessing I've had in a while.

The only thing is that I have to tutor on Friday evenings (so I hope you guys will forgive me for being absent at LH for the next little while), but he mentioned something about moving the English lessons on Wednesday evenings (English lessons are only one day a week, and the rest of the week is math and science). And I get my own classroom with four, cute, little desks! So while I teach them English, they can teach me Korean.

Random story: I just bit into a corn cob and heard my jaw crack. My jaw has gotten lazy from eating mushy vegetarian food, I have to start doing jaw stretches.

Hillsong - The Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

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Kimchi Fried Rice

Feeling restless, so I'm going to blog.


So Vinay came over for dinner tonight and although I was pooped from a stupid day at work, I was inspired to make Vinay my version of experimental kimchi fried rice (which failed because I didn't have enough kimchi). My mom and I fuss over what to feed Vinay every time we hear that he's coming over. It used to only be Annabelle who fussed over what to feed him with her non-existent culinary skills, but eventually my mom and I took over.

I don't know what my mom's reason for wanting to feed Vinay so much is, maybe she secretly just wants him to get fat by with Popeye's chicken, or maybe she just secretly really likes Vinay, but for me, the reason is because Vinay compliments my cooking skills. Plus, he's the only one who's willing to touch anything I cook.

Maybe it's because I advertise it as 'meat-free' and 'good for you' that no one wants to eat anything I make. Admittedly, most of what I cook turns out looking like mush which is off putting to eat, but it really isn't that bad. But I've learned not to care about what my family thinks, as long as Vinay likes it (T.T).

Ah wells.
nightnight

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