/

Glee

I'm writing my final essay for AL and it's hard because everyone is at home on this random, thursday morning.


It's aggravating. Every time everyone's home they get into a yelling match. My mom initiates it, I don't know what's up with her, she doesn't know how to talk, she just yells. Yells, yells and yells.

One of the books I'm covering for this final essay is House of Hunger, where the home is as dysfunctional as it can get. At least I can relate with that aspect of the novel. It drives me INSANE.

And I do try my best to smooth things out but I'm not going to lie by saying it's easier not to care. 

This morning alone, they got in an argument about:

1) Matt dropped his philosophy class, which I took in high school as well and it was pretty hard, so I can't blame him there. But he skips school ALL THE TIME. I talked to his friend Will, who confirmed this suspicion. I don't know why he skips school. When he's at home I do ask, and he always has some BS answer like "Oh it's Jew Day at school, I'm skipping b/c no one's going to be there." (A large population of the high school is Jewish) 

I don't know what to do with this kid. My parents were yelling at him this morning but after years of yelling and nagging, Matt's become pretty immune to it. 

2) My dad constantly has DENTIST BILLS. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. And he has no money to pay for them so AB and I, and sometimes the insurance when they're not being a cheap ass, pays for it. It's either a root canal, or a teeth they have to extract or something. What the hell! Does he not brush his teeth?!?

I'm going to buy him mouthwash and a new toothbrush. I'm tired of this. Every time he has a new bill he bothers my mom about the insurance, and she gets fed up with it because she has to fill out the forms and sometimes quite honestly, she just gives him a hard time about it because she can. 

One time when I was a kid everyone complained about my dad's bad breath. They all asked me why my dad had such bad breath, and I didn't know how to answer them because I heard him brushing his teeth all the time. This was until one day when he came out of the bathroom and proudly showed us his tooth brush, it was as worn out as it could get,  basically all the bristles were gone except for a few. He was proud of it. My siblings and I were not amused. I know he's low on cash, but a tooth brush is $2.00 and the dentist gives us a new one after every check up. So I've decided that his bad dental hygiene is self inflicted. 

3) Aaron is doing drugs and smoking pot and whatever. My mom is frantic. She's threatened to call the police on him and is planning to visit the principal so he can keep an eye on him. She's basically confused, she doesn't understand how a 15 year old can get a hold of drugs. So naive. The reason I'm not as worried about this as I should be is because I know a lot of kids in high school who smoked weed in the bathrooms and they turned out alright. I'm not saying that Aaron isn't doing anything wrong, but that the situation isn't as tragic as my mom makes it out to be. She would just be in the kitchen, baking, when all the sudden she'd go on a rant and tantrum about how Aaron's doing weed and how no one is doing anything about it.

Especially dad. Basically today, while I was in the midst of essay writing, or trying too, he confesses to my mom that he knows the kid who's giving Aaron drugs and has seen him over at our house SMOKING THE POT. So my mom goes berserk, she's like "WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?!?" To which he answered, and i literally face palmed myself, "I didn't want to be rude." 

Holy cow. Honestly. Sometimes I don't blame my mom. 

Is it just me or does my life have enough material in it for an entertaining sitcom? Or a drama like One Tree Hill or Jersey Shore. If only my life could be more like Glee. It'd be nice to solve life problems through random bursts of song. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Sunday Rant

Lately, I've been wondering if being I've been too cynical about life and judging too harshly. Today however, my brother and he made me realize that I'm not being too skeptical at all. Even someone like him, who doesn't think about this thing too much, has been able to see through it.


Brainwashed. Scam. No one made you run, you chose to run yourself.

That is all. 
---

On the other, happier, note, since Friday, Sears has been having this pillow competition where whenever you sell two or more Obus Form pillow you print out a none-negotiable receipt and put it in a ballot box, at the end of Sears Days they do a random draw and if your name is pulled out you get a $25 gift card and two free pillows. 

It seemed simple enough, and I didn't think much of it at first but then after I did 2 sales my competitive nature kicked in and I began to get competitive about it. I've made a decent amount of pillow sales but I don't know, my chances of winning doesn't seem good. 

Anyway, this is the first time I'm getting caught up in something like this. I don't even know wh I care so much about it, whereas before I'd be passive about it, hardly thinking of it, already giving up before trying. So yes, maybe my high school friends were right when they said I changed. I'm no longer that passive. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Wuutt

life is officially depressing.

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Pissing Off People

Lately, I've been pissing a lot of people off, which I can't be absolutely blamed for since they pissed me off first. One thing about me is that I'm really hot tempered and easily annoyed, and I don't have a very high tolerance for annoying people.


I can barely tolerate some customers sometimes. Just today I had the stupidest customer. She bought a sweater and the associate forgot to remove the ink tag. So she showed me the receipt of when she bought it, but she had ripped off the tag on the sweater which made it hard to tell what the price of the sweater was. I was trying to match the item number with the receipt when she starts complaining, saying I didn't need to check because it's the right merchandize. Then I began to explain that sometimes people will take an item and claim they've paid for it, and that's called stealing. Then she says "Well! That's rude of you to assume!" And gave me attitude.

WTF WOMAN!  I'm not stupid, and I'm doing you a freakin favour. Then because I was pissed, I took my time removing the tag, which is tricky because if you do it too fast the ink spills out. Then she complains, "Uh, it doesn't take that long to remove it you know." FREAK. I was about to swear at her, i just threw the sweater across the counter and walked away. 

Just the other day I think I pissed off Mona by telling her that she never listens to anything I say. Which is true. But what is also true is that I never tell her anything about how I'm doing. So it's not really her fault, but I sent her hateful text messages anyway to let out some steam. See what a terrible person I am? Mona's a good friend though, she never takes things too personally, or if she does, she's not stubborn like I am, she resolves the issue by pretending it never happened, whereas I would hold a grudge for a long time.

I pissed off Chris the other day too. I have spent a good amount of my time consoling Chris whenever he was pissed off at someone, or was feeling pessimistic about his relationships with people, and never got anywhere. Lately, for the past few months, things have turned around and I'm the one pissing off Chris instead of being the one to console him. I'm suppose to care but I don't really, because I did try to patch things up but everything I said and did was the wrong thing. Meh. Even if we did make up my job as his person to rant to has been taken over by someone else. 

And that's pretty much it ... whenever I get mad at Leo I try not to talk to him because if I do I might explode like I did recently to Mona. I did that once and felt guilty about it. Most of the time it's not Leo's fault, and I try to remind myself that all guys are the same and that I'm just being too emotional. 

On a side note, my picture of Drew's tail has been added by someone into a gallery of animal bums. I think I should be flattered. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Summer

She met him and through him met him. He went off for the summer, when anything could happen, between him and her. It was innocent, it was simple, there were no calculations involved. It happened on the beach, or was it during the bbq, that one get together, or that late walk home one night when he said it was too dark for her to be walking home alone?

This miscalculation on his part, such a betrayal, from him to him, that involved her - because sometimes it happened. Should he blame him for leaving? Should she blame him for having emotions? Should he blame her for being gay? Guilt set in at first, then shame, then, forgetting inhibitions and only thinking of the days, weeks, months ahead, he welcomed such ungodly, such unforgiving, feelings.

He was elated. He felt free. Every chance he had to see her, he would. They became friends, close friends, and then –

What next step could there possibly be? They would talk all night, they would watch movies together, ride around the island, ride around the city. In that summer they became dark, their skin becoming testimony to their time spent outdoors.

It ached him, yet it relieved him. His fingers would touch her accidentally. She’d pull away. His tongue would slip words, and she’d stop smiling. Because even though they were friends, close friends, that was it. There could be nothing more.

He knew she kept in contact with him, emailed him, talked over seas with him, he knew how they felt, touched, loved, laughed, and he wanted it. It hurt, he was angry, at him, at her, himself. What misery he would think of, what woes he would put himself through. Until he saw her again, forgetting the misery for that minute she’d laugh at his joke, forget it when she said his name, forget it that second their eyes met across the room.

She knew how he felt, but she had become dependent on him without him there. HE would always be sweet to her, saying all the right things, cherishing all the rare moments they spent together that summer, moments where she could say whatever was on her mind.

But he knew, they knew, everyone saw, that summer ended. He came back, he saw her with him and realized – things change, nothing stays the same. Friendships fall apart but lovers always love. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Birthday!

Yesterday (it's still yesterday to me because I'm writing this at 1:21 am march 22, but really, because I haven't gone to bed yet, it's still march 21 by my time.) was my birthday although it really didn't feel like my birthday. Usually I get this tingly feeling of excitement on my birthday. Not this year though. Perhaps it's because I'm aware of how old and unaccomplished I'm becoming ... After a certain age birthday's become a burden to celebrate.


Although part of the reason as to why I wasn't in a very celebratory mood on my birthday could be because I have an essay due on Monday, which I've been putting off. After a few essays, my motivation to start another paper lessens .... 

So I woke up on my birthday feeling all dreadful since I woke up late and should have woken up hours ago to write my essay. I then went to brunch with Annabelle and my dad. Which was fine. It wasn't painful since my mom wasn't there. Afterwards we went home and to my surprise, Manley, Amy and Mona were in my living room. I'm starting to feel guilty because last year I didn't feel like celebrating my birthday either and Amy planned a surprise party for me, this year it was Mona who planned it. Next year, just so I won't trouble anyone, I'll plan my own birthday lunch thing.

So they whisked me away to East Side Mario's where Duy and Leo were waiting. Then eventually Betty and Shlomi showed up. There was this whole confusion after lunch on what we should do next, in the end, Duy, Amy, Leo and I ended up walking back to my place and spent the afternoon playing Apples to Apples and watching G4. 

Then we cut the cake and ate pizza and sung happy birthday. There was more drama in between but I'd rather not mention it at the moment.

Let's see ... oh ok so this morning I skipped church to stay home and work on my essay, my mom was home so she came in my room to talk to me - actually, more like complain to me about how she doesn't like Leo since he didn't say goodbye to her last night before they left. Due to the drama that happened last night that I'd rather not mention, it was my fault they didn't say bye to my mom because I practically pushed Amy, Duy and Leo out of the house. So that was unfair of her to say that. But then she does this strange thing where she compares Leo to Vinay, my sisters better half at the moment. Which is like the most, ugh, annoying thing in the world because she spent a good amount of time complaining to me about Vinay. And now Vinay is this guy that everyone must live up too. Whatever, I like Vinay. He's cool. It's just annoying how hypocritical my mom is. 

I went to work then afterwards, and as usual, after work on Sundays I visit my grandparents with my dad. Usually, when I'm in the car with my dad I switch the station on the radio to whatever I want to listen too, but then today when I switched the station my dad went nuts. He starts off "I always let you listen to the station you want too blah blah but doesn't mean I like your type of music blah blah and I don't even consider that music that I would like, what are they doing? Chanting? (No dad, they're raping) Blah blah You're so inconsiderate for changing the station all the time, but this time I just have to say something and one more thing - !" 

And I knew this was coming.

He turns off the radio completely and then says "Who's that guy that was over last yesterday? What is he to you?"

To which I answer, "Whatever Vinay is to Annabelle." 

Then he goes off on how he saw me sitting on Leo's lap yesterday in my room since .. whatever. Anyway, then he goes, "You shouldn't go out with anyone while you're in school!" To which i say, in my head of course, because saying this out loud would be deadly, "BS! That's not what you told your other daughter!" 

My dad is insane. He then tells me that all this time he has this 'six sense' about people, that he can tell what a person is really like just by looking at them and he didn't get a good vibe about Leo and that he doesn't like his personality because he was rude for not greeting him (Umm, dad, you were missing in action 99% of the time). Then he says "What is he, Korean?" 

"No, he's not."

"Chinese? What, ok so let me guess, he was born here in 'Canada' right?" (My dad has this theory that all Canadian kids are corrupt)

"No dad, he moved here when he was in high school" 

"What do you mean he moved here when he was in high school? blah blah He doesn't act like a Chinese that grew up in China, so impolite, I don't like him, blah blah blah."

&*%*@#%&R!!!! I was so frustrated!!!! Like, he has all these insane theory and notions! Half of them don't even make sense. 1) He assumed that Leo was Korean .. meaning that he thinks Korean kids are all impolite and corrupt? Because that was where he was getting at 2) To this day I don't understand why he thinks all Canadian kids are corrupt, probably because they listen to 'chanting' music on the radio. 3) WHAT does being born in China have to do with being polite!!??? WTF, is he saying that Asia is capable of raising non-corrupt polite children than Canadians?!? 

Oh and this whole six sense about someone ... it's such a stupid way of judging someone. 

Of course, he said other things like all fathers would to their daughters, like that whole "I know what guys that age are after and they're only after one thing because when I use to be that age and I know! So don't sit on his lap anymore!" I mean, that's understandable, he's my dad after all. But all the other crap that he said really pissed me off. 

Weird thing was that he asked me how I first met Leo. He assumed I met Leo through Amy, which I don't understand why, but it's good he said that because now I know what he really thinks of my best friend: That she's a bad influence. Whatever dad. 

The reason I'm pissed is because he's basing this all during the 2 seconds he met Leo. Oh, and he's basing it on the fact that Leo smokes. I should make a list of all the saints in the church who smokes and give it to him, he won't be making unfair assumptions then. 

I told this all to Leo, to which he calmly replies, "All fathers have negative prejudices against the guy dating his daughter. I understand. Just need to improve next time :)"

Yeah, made me feel stupid for being pissed. But Leo's so calm and understanding, I should be more like that :/

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Writing Essays is FUN

Not. 


Lately I feel like I'm constantly in the process of essay writing, as soon as I finish one I'm starting another one immediately. This time around I played it smart and started everything early and finished early so I won't end up cramming everything into one night. Alsooo I've been taking advantage of the writing centre at Woodsworth. 

Woodsworth is a crappy college. I wish I was in University College or Victoria or something, there's nothing cool about Woodsworth. And they have crappy services too. The registrar is terrible at helping me out and the writing centre --- well, let's just say that they're only sometimes helpful. The last time I went the guy didn't seem to know what he was doing, he basically just edited the grammatical stuff in my essay and didn't say anything about the content. I mean, common, I'm SURE there has to be something wrong with the content of my essay, but no, not one word. Good thing I emailed my T.A. first to get his approval on my thesis.

So that's what I've been basically doing lately, reading, analyzing, emailing T.A./Proffs and booking appointments at the writing centre ... 

Anyway, my mom has gone a wee bit insane again. 
Basically, she's been taking up baking/cake decorating courses at George Brown college lately and she's getting pretty good at it; there's been an overload of pastries at home recently. But today she's taken it to a whole new level. She wants to open up her own bakery and decided that she needs to practice, and one way of practicing perfectly is to practice under the best conditions. 

Which is why she hired two Korean guys to come over today and instal not one, or two, but SIX florescent lights in the kitchen. It's bright as hell, and somewhat scary. I wonder how much electricity those things suck up. She wants to install another six though. No thanks. 

That is basically it. One good thing is that now I have perfect lighting conditions to photograph under. 

Permalink Leave a comment

Followers