So perhaps I may have just done a particularly stupid thing to do. Although I often lie, I'm pretty bad at it when I have to be good at telling one.
In the past two days, I've been busily preparing for the upcoming summer course schedule/materials for the kids I teach. The course material is something I like to call 'torture package' because it's intense and jammed packed with material. For example: the course is eight weeks long, and we're making the kids read 3 books. That's one book every two and a half weeks, which is a lot of readings. (It's about as much as I have to do for my classes.)
Anyway, preparing the course material hasn't exactly been the most exciting thing, but I'd have to say that it's been interesting to do. You just never have enough time, and you can never be done preparing because there's always something to do.
So on with my lie. Basically, because I still have a lot to prepare and have been busy, I haven't been thinking properly. I realized today that I over booked myself: meaning that I have to teach my lesson tomorrow and at the same time be at work.
I sat back for a moment and thought about it. In my 3 1/4 years in working at retail, not once have I ever called the sick line, so I decided that since I was quitting soon anyway, I might as well. I called the store to ask for the sick line number, and just as my excellent luck would have it, someone I knew well happened to pick up the phone. It's really hard lying to someone you know well, since they can probably detect whether you're faking it or not. Thankfully, because of this experience, I can now share how to fake a sick call with you guys:
How to fake a sick call in an (not so) effective way:
1) Don't breath.
Holding your breath will make it sound like you have a cold. Plus, the fact that you're practically gasping for air because you're not breathing while you're talking makes it sound more authentic.
2) Make your illness short and sweet, don't elaborate unless they ask you to.
3) Keep your lies straight.
Although number 3 is sound advice, I may not have followed it too well. What ended up happening was that the person who picked up the phone asked me to call back later to talk to my manager, Zovig, and tell her I was sick. I felt uneasy doing this, because I knew for a fact that Zovig would be able to tell if I was faking it or not. Plus she's a really caring person so I knew she would want me to elaborate my sickness.
This left me with no choice. I called my mom and told her to call Zovig for me and tell her I was sick. Unfortunately, this had it's own consequences.
What I told my mom to say: "Mom, tell them I am at home sick with the flu and I can't come in to work tomorrow."
What my mom actually said: "Ok I called them and told them you were sick. I told them you had the flu and had a bad SUNBURN so you spent the entire day in bed. No more lies! This is the last time I'm doing this for you!"
....
She told them I had SUNBURN? What am I going to do the next time I come into work without a SUNBURN? Does this mean I actually have to go outside and get myself a sunburn just so my lie won't seem like a lie?
I don't even know what kind of lesson I'm suppose to take away from this experience, since my lie was a consequence of doing a noble thing: teaching kids English. T.T
Perhaps a moral of the story could be to never ask my mom to lie for me. She was the one who told me no to tell lies in the first place, after all.
Posts
... is it bad that I laughed so hard after I read this?
not as bad as laughing really hard while on a conference call..
haha don't worry, I spent the entire day yesterday laughing about this
lol..Jennifer and Selina just asked me what I was laughing so hard about. Selina just said to wear long sleeves and pants to work..and tell them that you wore a hat, so only your back was sunburned.
LOL you were with Selina and Jennifer when you read my blog? I think I'll do just that for a little bit.
Ya, we went shopping, and then went back to Jennifer's house. I was checking blogs, and then suddenly started laughing because of your post. Sunburn for sick leave...hahaha