I have to stop going by myself to church on Sundays with my dad because I think I’m giving the wrong impression. I don’t know how I ended up being stuck every Sunday at church with my dad. One by one everyone just stopped coming, either they had a fight with my dad or they have to use the time more productively by doing homework. Since I know when to keep my mouth shut, I couldn’t have possibly have had a fight with my dad, and since he doesn’t believe I do any school work, I can’t use the homework excuse.

People might start thinking I care. Which I don’t really, all I do is sit there staring into space. I walk in sleep deprived and walk out hungry. They can never seem to remember anything about me as an individual. After all these years, they still can’t tell me apart from Annabelle. (it's really not the people I don't care about, it's more of the preaching) 

Perhaps it’s because I don’t care, or rather refuse to care, that’s the reason that they can’t remember anything about me as an individual. As if my apatheticness is causing me to appear as a blur in front of them, like how they might view other Christians. They’re there, but it doesn’t really matter.

So about Belleville. For the past two years they have had this conference in Belleville, and each year the number of people have doubled. Which actually just means that last year (the second year) twice as many people came. So this year they have a goal of reaching twice as much from last year, around 400 people.

It’s a good goal, though somewhat unrealistic, because no way are there 400 college/young working saints (which is who the conference is for) that meet with them in Ontario, and I suppose Montreal.  So I guess the only way of meeting that goal is to make sure every single person brings a friend of the same age with them. Or you know, they could just have everyone else come, to help with the children’s service.

They do tell me to bring it before the lord though, which I did. And he says no. So I’m not going. How do I know he said no? Easy, because right after the conference I have 3 essays due. Everything happens for a reason and I decided that there has to be a reason that he gave me all these essays due afterwards. Whatever that reason is. And not to mention that it’s happening on the day of my birthday. Not really a big deal because I’m not a fan of celebrating my birthday.