So I was checking facebook today, when I saw something very unpleasant. (See this is why I hate facebook, it always gives me bad news. One more reason to deactivate-click!) So to try and get rid of this unpleasant thing that I saw from my head, I picked up my copy of The Reason For God and continued reading where I had left off.

(This book, as indicated by the title, is about the Reasons for God. It touches somewhat on the major religions but is mostly focused on Christianity.)

This is what I read:
'There may be no greater inner agony than the loss of a relationship that we desperately want. If a mild acquaintance turns on you, condemns and criticizes you, and says she never wants to see you again, it is painful. If someone you're dating does the same thing to you, it is qualitatively more painful. But if your spouse does this to you, or if one of your parents does this to you when you're still a child, the psychological damage is infinitely worse.

We cannot fathom, however, what it would be like to lose not just spousal love or parental love that has lasted several years, but the infinite love of the Father that Jesus had from all eternity. Jesus' sufferings would have been ETERNALLY UNBEARABLE.'

It's a point to think about next time we're suffering so much. Our suffering is temporary, imagine suffering for eternity for/because of someone you love.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was attending a suicide alertness workshop and I am proud to announce that I am officially a certified (literally, I have a certificate) suicide detector. Basically, all we did in the workshop was learn to detect the signs someone would give if they were thinking of committing suicide.

I have to admit, I was somewhat disappointed that we didn't cover things like, 'How to Stop Someone From Committing Suicide.' Instead, what they told us to do was call someone and not leave that person alone, and basically just to try and be alert of those around us who might be thinking of committing suicide.

But during the workshop, I felt like I was exhibiting more than one of the symptoms they mentioned.
Here's a list:
Care-less, Withdrawing, Moody, Alcohol/Drug Abuse, Alone, Burden, No Purpose, Escape, Desperate, Numb, Hopeless, Ashamed, Abuse, Rejection, Losses, Suicide Experience (If they have experienced someone close to them committing suicide.)

This past week alone I've
Cared less about people
Withdrew from people (I.e. try and get rid of my virtual social life)
Was extremely moody
Felt Alone
Felt like a burden (but more of a pest really)
Felt there was no purpose/escape to my moodiness
Ashamed that I did something stupid
Lost Hope at the people who I thought was close to me

See, this past week alone I've experienced more than half these symptoms. If I was someone else, I would definitely go up to me and say, "Dear Ann, you've exhibited more than half the symptoms of someone who is about to commit suicide, and my spider senses are tingling. This is serious and important. Are you planning on committing suicide?"

To which I'd answer: "Um, no. That's very presumptious of you to ask."

LESSON TO LEARN HERE PEOPLE: IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK.

That was one of the things I learned from this workshop, it's that most of the time people want to be asked if they're having suicidal thoughts, because they just want to talk about it. So if you have a friend who has been withdrawing and unwilling to talk and spending more time alone recently, talk to them and ask them if they're having any deep dark thoughts.

Also helps to try and get rid of all the sharp objects around them.

Yesterday, I bought a cover for my keyboard. I'm very excited to start abusing it, especially when I'm in class and typing as fast as my professor can spew words out of his mouth. The cover was a little bit expensive, but according to the manufacturer you can wash it when it gets dirty. In my head this translates to the cover lasting forever. (Or else I'll be seriously pissed)

Speaking of things lasting forever, I need new jeans. The last time I bought jeans was when I was in gr11, when my mom, sister and I went on a shopping spree in Buffalo. Sadly, my jeans have now gotten so worn out the zipper won't even stay up. My friends are always telling me that my fly is down. Uh, yeah, time to get new pants.

Let's see, what else can I incessantly type about.... Oh yeah, the event. I've been having a lot of problems with this event, grr. The other day Mona was like "Just cancel it and give up! Jeez."

CANCEL AND GIVE UP!?!? Dude, that's the last thing you ever want to do. Here's the lesson kids: Never give up and cancel something just because it gives you problems. If that was the case, I would have quit working at Sears long ago. As my fictional, and sadly deceased, friend Mad Eye Moody would say: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Speaking of work, my department is switching names. From now on it won't be called Catalogue anymore, instead, it's being renamed to: "Online Shopping." (Something people can do at home, but they insist on coming to Sears to do it anyway) I'm very excited to start telling people that I work at Online Shopping, they'll be like, Huh? You work in the Internet?

Also, life has been oddly pleasant without twitter. I don't miss it at all, even though within the first 24 hours I suffered through Twitter withdrawal.

Deliriant_o Tweets from Korea Town: OMG I JUST BOUGHT A KEYBOARD COVER! My laptop is all blinged up!

or

Deliriant_o Tweets from the Cats Hospital: I just lost my water bottle T.T

I did loose my water bottle, though. I'm very upset. I don't like not having water accessible to me at all times. And without that water bottle, how do I know if I'm drinking 8 glasses of water a day or not!?!?

Ok, enough babbling. Must get back to reading and studying for my midterm(s) next week. I shall blog more later because I will soon be very bored with studying.

Ok so to recap:
1) I deleted twitter/fb because I want to concentrate on school.
2) I deleted the said above because I have not benefited from it.
3) Boys will always suck.

I've had to delete some of my previous posts because I just realized I was going through some serious hormonal imbalance moments, which made me write crazy things.

Fact: being hormonally imbalanced (delicate way of saying pms-ing) is like being clinically depressed. You're constantly moody and You don't know why.

And this is reason #10034 of why it sucks to be a girl.

Anyway, I may have shared this before, but I have seriously vivid dreams. NO not those kinds of dreams, I'm not that much of a pervert. But other vivid dreams like, dreaming about deceased hamsters or getting into car accidents.

And I always dream about my friends too. I've dreamt of Mona being pregnant, Matt and Manley getting married, Leo with yellow underwear (he wasn't wearing it, thank God). But I've had cool dreams lately about WongFu Productions.

WongFu Dream #1:
I was visiting my brother, Matt, at his new apartment where his roommate was David Choi. While hanging out there, WongFu walked in, and they were like: "Cool shirt!" Then I looked down and I was wearing a Nice Guy shirt. I said something cheesy like "Thanks, I got it from your website."

Then we hung out a bit, playing Wii, when suddenly I developed a big crush on Wes. Then we decided to go fishing on this huge boat.

WongFu Dream #2:
I don't remember this too much, but it took place at work. I was in the back office, telling a joke to my coworkers and they were all laughing. I was feeling good about it when all the sudden WongFu walked in. I said, "Holy Crap, what are you guys doing here?!"

Then something happened, then I suddenly had this huge crush on Phil.

So that was it so far, my two WongFu dreams. I don't think I'll be dreaming about Ted, it'd just be wrong since he's engaged.

To Purge:

Thanksgiving sucked.