/

Greed

You love someone and you're happy, but you know that it's not your true love, and you know your true love will make you even happier. So you look for someone else to love. That next person you find is not your true love either, but that person makes you happier than the person you've loved before. Eventually you ditch this person and love someone else. That someone else is even closer to your true love, but not entirely, and you're also happier with this person than the last two people you've loved. 


And the cycle goes on and on until you've found your true love, which might be never, but you persevere anyway, because you've become addicted to being happier.

Is it worth it then, to go through so many loves before finally being truly, forever, eternally, happy? Why can't you just be plain happy with someone you love. There are things you can't afford to be greedy about. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Sensitive Noodle bowl

Sensitive noodle bowl is sensitive. She cries easily, laughs easily, and gets stressed out easily - and when sensitive noodle bowl is stressed, she's really stressed. Her noodle bowl gets all pimply. 


Sensitive noodle bowl unfortunately has a boyfriend named un-sensitive noodle bowl. Un-sensitive noodle bowl is the exact opposite of sensitive noodle bowl, he's un-sensitive and often forgets about sensitive noodle bowl. Problem is, sensitive noodle bowl likes un-sensitive noodle bowl. A lot. There's nothing wrong with un-sensitive noodle bowl-and hey, as they say, opposites attract- he's kind and generous with noodle cash, but sometimes he when he forgets about sensitive noodle bowl she gets upset, and she starts to mope around, spilling broth everywhere. 

Sensitive noodle bowl doesn't understand when un-sensitive noodle bowl does this. She assumes that he's just being a guy. Or that he just needs space. Perhaps she has to clean up her noodle bowl a bit to make herself more attractive and less easily forgotten. 

But what sensitive noodle bowl doesn't realize is that un-sensitive noodle bowl will always be un-sensitive, especially to her feelings, because it's in his name. Just like how she'll never be un-sensitive, because her name is sensitive noodle bowl. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

House of Hunger

Yesterday it took me five hours to start and finish reading House of Hunger. No idea how I managed to do that since it's a highly depressing book.


The narrator of the novel is skitzophrentic and laughs while he's getting flogged/watching others get flogged. Basically, he's a little bit out of it.

So that got me thinking. What if I'm a little bit out of it? And no one's bothered to tell me? Or what if I go crazy one day - what then? The only consolation I have is that being crazy might help me write some amazing book. If it can happen to Dambudzo Marechera then it might happen to me too. 

Then in that case, being crazy might not be so bad.

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Have you ever

Just cried for no reason at all

and halfway through you realize you're crying about everything
and that it was a long time coming

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Detox Tea

The other day I was on my break at work so I ventured off to T&T. As I was busily admiring all the lovely oily foods on display, I ran into a display tower of tea. I had been meaning to buy sleepy tea for some time now, so I went further into the tea isle and what I found was this:


Detox tea.

Detox tea is like, poison and gold all at once. I bought it because I've always wanted to do that detox thing where you do nothing but drink apple juice for like a week (or what was it you had to drink again?) and it will clear out your system. Since I like eating solid food, I figured I'd cheat this way. My stomach has not been this upset and pleased all at the same time, ever.

And the thing is, I only drank a cup. On the box it says to drink 2-4 cups a day. If it's making me feel this upset with one cup I don't think I want to try 2-4 cups a day. Maybe I would, if I was 6ft tall and 200 pounds. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

Claustrophobic

There's books everywhere on my desk and I'm surrounded by it. I'm starting to feel claustrophobic. I should invest in an e-book tablet thing, it'll save me space.


I am mad. There's too many things to do. I don't understand why. I don't know how to unstress myself. I have a friend who's lucky enough that when she gets stressed, she just blanks out and forgets everything she's stressed about and focuses on other things. I wish I was like that. I end up playing everything over and over again in my head. 

Hmm, I should go on a road trip. A very, very long one with a lot of people. Or go on a very, very long trip back to Philippines and get immersed in the culture again and visit San Juan and look for Delsi. 

At work everyone is getting shuffled around. I like things the way they are now. Because I have to do so much school work when I'm at home, it feels like a mini vacation whenever I have to go to work. How depressing is that ...

And I don't know what I want to do for my birthday. I don't have the energy to think about it. I want something that involves people only because spending your birthday alone is depressing. 

Permalink Leave a comment

/

School sucks

Lately I have had a lot of work to do, like always. And it's easy to feel depressed when you have so much work to do. On top of that I also have a lot of stress. (Although come to think of it, if you break down the things in my life I really have nothing to be depressed about.) 


So anyway, it's depressing to be depressed all the time and it's not fun, which is why I've decided to force myself to be happy. I tried it today: I got up, my room was sunny and I told myself, "Ann, today you're going to be in a good mood!"

It worked, but my drive to stay in a good mood faded until I got to class around six. But coffee also helps. I'm going to try this whole good mood thing again tomorrow, it's just that I've decided that I've been in a bad mood for too many days in a row and I need to change my attitude.

Permalink Leave a comment

Followers