When it started playing, it was as if I heard music for the first time. It was like taking in a breath of fresh air after not being able to breath for a while. It's been such a long time, even though it has only been few weeks, since I've been to any kind of bible study, and it feels like I have absolutely no energy left. I am not physically tired, but I feel spiritually dead. 

When I'm spiritually dead I literally have no patience for anyone. Smiling also feels harder. 

I went to my Target orientation today, and one of the key things they kept saying was,"Smile! Smile at everyone!" (Target is very preppy this way. They want everyone to be friends and be one big family.) 

And all I could keep thinking was that I don't have the energy for this... 

Anyway, that's what's up with me. I don't like feeling disconnected with God because it makes me feel too stuffy with myself. I guess this doesn't make sense. What I mean is that my natural tendencies of being grumpy and impatient comes out and the world looks bleak and hopeless.

UNFORTUNATLEY I have an interview this Sunday morning! I'm very upset at this because I love Sundays and spending them at church with everyone else. 

I'll just listen to Christian songs and read appetizing books until I'm reunited with everyone else.