The other week in the not-so-interesting life of retail, someone lost Stanley Fish's book, 'How to Write a Sentence.' Since I work at the multi-talented department of the store, the book landed in my department since we also happen to be the lost and found.
By the way, working in lost and found department makes me scratch my head in wonder at the kind of stuff people loose and never claim. There are things like blackberries and ipods, to car keys, house keys, jewelry, purses, wallets, underwear, glasses, soiled baby milk bottles, birthday presents, the New Testament translated into Hebrew, etc.
By far, besides the NT Hebrew Bible, the most interesting thing I've come across is this book. When I saw it lying there in the lost and found drawer, I squealed in delight and said, "it's Stanley Fish!"
Who Stanley Fish is: Stanley Fish, according to my professor, is the highest paid literary critic. When he apparently came to U of T as a guest lecturer, my professor was impressed by his ability to give such a long response to a question that he managed to answer the question without actually answering it, thus avoiding answering questions he doesn't know the answer to. He's super clever and has reflected his life's work on Milton.
Seeing as how I'm the only overtly excited English Major at work, I instantly grabbed the book and begun reading it, hoping that whoever lost it wouldn't come and claim the book. Whoever it was that lost this book must appreciate a good sentence as much as I do, and is probably very devastated that they lost this book, but their loss is my gain.
I waited a couple of weeks, and just as we were about to empty the lost and found and donate the items, I claimed the book and took it home. So, question is, how do you write a sentence?
In the past two weeks, I've been teaching the kids different kinds of sentence structures, and now you guys are lucky enough to hear the short version of my fascinating lectures, hurrah!
Just like pokemon's, sentences start off simply. There's the Simple Sentence:
I like cheese.
Which has one subject and one verb and is a complete thought, which is also known as an independent clause.
Simple Sentence can evolve into Compound Sentences with the help of Coordinating Conjunctions:
I like cheese, so I ate cheese.
Which has two verbs and two subjects and two complete thoughts.
But then sometimes, Simple Sentences and Compound Sentences can evolve into awesome Complex Sentences, with the help of Subordinating Conjunctions:
Although there are different kinds of cheese, I will not bear prejudice towards any and like them equally.
Ok you guys get the point, sentences are cool and awesome. As you can see, anyone can write a sentence, but writing a sentence that takes people's breath away is a different story. Have you guys ever seen a sentence where you had to do a double take and re-read it, just because there was something more than words to the sentence?
"They are subjects or objects or actions or descriptives or indications of manner, and as such they combine into a statement about the world, that is, into meaning that one can contemplate, admire, reject, or refine."
-Fish
Personally, I like collecting sentences in my head, which is counterproductive since I forget them, so I'm trying to get into the habit of taking note of them in my blackberry. Some notable sentences from authors that I've collected:
"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."
-Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone
"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."
-One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"One day, as Cunegonde was walking the grounds of the castle, in the little wood which everyone called the park, she caught sight through the undergrowth of Doctor Pangloss giving a lesson in experimental physics to her mother's chambermaid, a very pretty and tractable little brunette. Mademoiselle Cunegonde had a natural aptitude for the sciences, and she noted breathlessly the repeated experiments to which she was witness; she saw clearly the doctor's sufficient reason, both the effects and causes, and she returned home very agitated, very thoughtful, and very much filled with desire to be a scientist, reflecting that she might yet prove to be the sufficient reason of young Candide, who might turn prove to be hers."
-Candide/Optimism, Voltaire
"Such was the death of that imaginative gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose native place the author has not thought fit directly to mention, with the intention that all the town and villages in La Mancha should vie with one another for the honour of giving him birth as the seven cities of Greece did for Homer."
-Don Quixote, Cervantes
(p.s. sorry for the nerdy post, the reason I'm publishing this days after I wrote it is because I had to wrestle with myself to publish this because it seemed too nerdy. I will dedicate this post to Ariel, since she's the only other person I know who's excited to read Fish's book.)
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Stanley Fish's work on Milton and John Donne is amazing.
“It’s an immense night out there, wheeling and windy. The lights on the street and in the houses are helpless against the black wetness…There’s a soft steady swish of rain on the roof, and a gurgle of eaves-troughs running over. Above, in the high cold night, the wind goes swinging past, indifferent, liplessly mournful. It frightens me, makes me feel lost, dropped on this little perch of town and abandoned.”
-As For Me and My House, Sinclair Ross
"The next time that you encounter treasures in the lost and found box, please keep me in mind for I could use a new used underwear and soiled baby milk bottle."
-Johnny
NEEERRRRRDDDD
p.s. Johnny your sentence gave me a huge de-ja-vu. Especially the "Soiled baby milk bottle". I can't put a finger on where I read that though, but its definitely recent.
p.p.s. Interesting read!
LOOOOLL Johnny your comment is pure win!
And Ariel you've read Fish's other works? I'll have to read that.
And thanks Colin :P
Hey Ann, just thought I'd let you know that your blog is a great influence for me to keep blogging and try to write better. It's always quite interesting and entertaining to read (even if they are on mundane activities). Thanks for being an inspiration! Hannah suggested that I tell you this because she said English majors will be extremely happy to hear this. Keep blogging your heart out.
Thanks Johnny! I am happy to hear this not because I am an english major, but because I like writing and blogging, lol. I am looking forward to your future blog posts!