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Mis Deseos

I've been very busy lately, although if you ask me with what exactly, I'll have a hard time pinpointing what I've been doing. If you ask my parents, they'll tell you that I've been coming home at midnight (exaggerated of course, since every hour after 10pm is midnight to them) every night, despite their nagging (and they only nag because it's the holiday season and they have time off of work).


This year, because of something so mundane I've forgotten how it even begun, my mom and grandma have been in a longstanding feud with each other, which is why I have had to split my holidays between the two of them somewhat unevenly - unevenly because my grandma entices me with food and good company, whereas my mom doesn't.

I guess it's for this reason that christmas didn't feel like christmas at all this year. Even though my family never has technically 'celebrated' christmas, I've always woken up with the same kind of tingly feeling on christmas as I do on my birthdays - that tingly feeling that this day is special and magical, that day in the year where you're not allowed to worry about anything at all. Deep down, I also hoped that this mundane feud between my grandma and mom would be, through the magic of christmas, resolved (as it always does in those cheesy christmas movies).

Alas, I'm old now so that christmas 'tingly' feeling I use to have as a kid is gone now.

Speaking of kids, I've also had to work in a couple of mornings this week, and I noticed something strange. I was marking today and got into a casual conversation with one of the girls - when suddenly, halfway through the conversation, I realized she was talking to me about her personal life. It kind of made me miss being a teenage girl and with teenage girl drama, but also, I was very - no wait, extremely - happy she was telling me about her life since that meant she's comfortable with me.

It's cute. The other week another kid asked for my contact information so he could ask me for help with his homework during the week (since I only see them once a week) and I was completely flattered. They also call me by my name more, rather than just addressing me with the anonymous 'miss'. I told them to address me by my first name, since Miss Ann sounds weird, and even weirder, Miss Ong (shudder). Plain Ann is best, it suits me more, unlike Owen who insist they call him Mr. Ju (ha, Owen is hilarious).

Ok, so ending this post by telling you guys how freaked out I was after watching The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. What freaked me out was how gory and graphic the movie was, even though I knew what was going to happen since I read the book beforehand. After the movie, I was highly suspicious of everyone around me, especially on the TTC. The last thing I'm going to be is mutilated into a million pieces and stuffed in a garbage bag, with the only clue to my murder being an ambiguous verse reference to Leviticus about sweet aroma.

But to be fair, I get freaked out easily.

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Stickers, Tea and Chocolate

Pictures from the Girls Bible Study (a.k.a GST) last Tuesday. I know I said I would post these pictures up on the LH website, but I'm going to post it here as well:

Stickers (for Tabi and me, don't ask), chocolate and tea.

The lighting was really bad ... but Ariel's a good sport and let me take a picture of her.

This picture was not set up at all ...

Nor was this ...

Or this.

Selina was also there, but she refused to have her picture taken so I took a picture of the view outside the window instead.

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Counting Up

Is 17 too old to get to know someone, when you've lived with them for most of their life? I use to think that as long as you share the same parents with someone you automatically understood that person, but now, maybe I need to add something else to the equation. What does it mean, anyway, to share parents - does it mean you share having to put up with them as well? And by sharing parents, is it the same thing as sharing a taxi driver, or sharing teachers? It's a funny thought, to share your parents with your siblings, it sounds like something you would say to a two year old who's about to be a big brother.


I've never cared much for this sharing business though, just as long as we could still be a team at the end of the day against them. Am I too old for this now? But its a type of self protection you make when you're a kid- they don't understand us, but it's ok, I understand you. It doesn't last forever though, years of being in different places break down this self defense, and sooner than later, you realize that you no longer understand them. Well then, if I don't understand you, does that mean we're no longer a team?

So then I ask, am I too old for this now?

15, that year we won the lottery and the router was broken. It was still ok, we spent the summer coughing up sawdust in the heat of the family room.
16, this part is hazy, where was I? Absent in my own misery.
17, the present. What happened tonight, that made me wonder about our old team? The holiday season? No. School? Maybe. In the end, it's probably because the taxi is not in service.

18, 19, 20 - am I just going to keep counting up?

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Portly and Innocuous

Portly and innocuous (for the most part), the squirrel doesn't have much of an objective. Why would it? Fat and self-minding - they mean well. All they want to do is eat and not get killed on the road.

"Idiotic squirrels," some would say, "Call animal control, this one needs help, it's actually eating garbage."

Uncarnivorous, scuttlebustling about on their own tiny business, not one of your great antagonistic creatures, no dinosaurs or jaguars they.


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Black Canvas

I creeped around the neighbourhood tonight to take bokeh pictures of christmas lights. I was really paranoid that someone would yell and accuse me of being a voyeur, so I sneaked around trying not to be seen (as if having someone sneak around in the dark with a giant tripod and camera not suspicious at all).


Blue christmas tree.


I told Amy Tang there was a full moon.
She said, "No, the full moon was on Friday. There's a chunk missing."
I looked at it again and said, "Looks full to me."

Once part of the Earth,
Now part of the sky above,
Sits the Moon to watch.


As I was taking these pictures, I realized that sadly enough, this is how I see light without my glasses on.

And a couple of cars honked at me, I'm not a voyeur, I swear T.T.





"Ahhh! The bush is on fire ... !"

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Eugene's Photobook

Ever since I discovered binder rings and photopaper, I've been on a photobook rampage and have been itching to put together one. Since Eugene is leaving soon, I satisfied my itch volunteered to make him a photobook.

I made his photobook on Saturday, but I won't be giving it to him until tomorrow. (Blogging this now in hopes that he doesn't read my blog, haha).

Here's how I made the photobook:

First, I had to stalk Eugene on facebook and save a bunch of pictures. This part was easy.

I tried to find at least one picture of everyone, and the only picture I could find of Del was of him in Africa. I guess my stalking skills needs a bit more work.

Finding a picture of Hannah was hard too, she's like a camera ninja.

Next, gather supplies. These are binder rings, which has been the most inspirational thing I have come across in a while. So many possibilities!

I decided to use cue cards since they're sturdy.


Since this is a Canadian themed book, I had to add glow in the dark snowflakes. (Courtesy of Martha Stewart.)



Then I printed off a bunch of random definitions and words to decorate the book with.


Glue them all together, holepunch, and voila! Instant photobook.

Here's the finished product:


This is my favourite page. So cute! (I'm talking about Ariel, not the bears.)




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Mind Blow Moment

This morning, I had the hardest time getting out of bed, which probably has something to do with the fact that I've slept in all of last week, and begun to grumble and complain about the fact that I had to be on children's service. I was so unwilling to serve kids that I got up just to double check and see if I was actually serving - a large part of me hoped I had read the schedule wrong.

Sounds terrible, doesn't it?

I don't really know why I signed up for children's service, all I remember was having this nagging feeling all summer long about it that kept on saying, "Do it, do it!" (actually, I had a lot of nagging feelings last summer, but that's another story). I kept putting off actually signing up for children's service, especially since I kept giving myself excuses like, "I'm terrible with kids, they're only going to eat me alive!"

And then I found out that Eddie and Johnny were serving kids, which made me feel terrible, since I know neither of them are good with kids, but they're still doing it. Good thing Tabitha was so willing to jump in the bandwagon with me, or else the kids might have actually eaten me alive.

Today, though I complained and didn't want to get out of bed, I was glad to be with the kids because they're cuter every time I see them, and they make me happy. I don't really know how to show my affections toward them though, I can't exactly hug them because they're short (and because I have this thing about close body contact) so I just end up patting them on the head a lot. One kid fell asleep in my arm yesterday - it was such a mind blow moment because:
1) I was surprised that kids actually like me
2) He trusts me
3) It was just a really cute and happy moment ^^

I was so happy to receive this bit of affection from a kid that I found myself telling my grandma about it this evening, which is weird because I don't really tell her these sort of things (talking about church in my family is kind of taboo).

Hopefully, this will teach me to be more patient :P

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