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Makeup Inventory

Sometimes, all you need is a bit of makeup - but in my case, this bit of makeup has grown into a collection of makeup. I don't know if you guys remember, but last year I started subscribing to ipsy, a monthly makeup subscription where I receive a bag every month in the mail. 

I finally opened my March bag today. Unlike Tabi, I wasn't that impressed since I already have the products in the bag. The bag looks like an ameba and is actually very pixelated, making it look just like plastic. 

Usually I get five items a month, so I was a bit disappointed to that I only got four items this month! (Blasphemy!) Here's a picture:


The only thing I liked was the liquid eyeliner. I could probably use this as a tattoo pen since it doesn't wash off at all! 



So this got me thinking. By now I've accumulated a lot of makeup, and I think it's about time I take an inventory and see just how much I have.

There are some people who have qualms about makeup, personally, I don't see anything wrong with it unless you go overboard and end up looking absolutely intimidating, or if makeup ends up becoming your definition of beauty. (You know what they say, if 90% of it can be washed away with water, it's not beauty.) I use makeup as a way of looking put together, or of politeness, because how you look can be an outward manifestation of your attitude toward a situation. At work I deal with a lot of face to face interaction, and I'd rather look approachable than not. I think teachers especially need to look put together since students are constantly staring at them. 

Using makeup as a way of showing politeness is something my grandma and someone else at church taught me. They have a point, and really, caring about your appearance doesn't take that much work. 

Anyway on with the inventory. Here's a collection of my lip products, half of which I bought, and half of which I've received from ipsy. I had more lip-crayons and lip-glosses but they've 'mysteriously' disappeared (as in, my mom or sister probably took them). Is this a lot? I can't tell anymore. Lip products are my favourite because I like my lips, haha. 



Ok, this picture is a it more overwhelming, and I know what you're thinking: What is this and why do you have so many?!

These are the eye products. I'm missing one eyelash because Annabelle took it for her engagement pictures (she cut it in half and used half on the outer corner of her eyes). These are all from ipsy except for the gel liner and the giant mascara tube. I've received more pallets from ipsy but I regifted them to different people.


Face products which include foundation, powder, blush, primer, bb cream samples, bronzers ... 


This is just the tip of my nail polish collection, the rest are hidden in Annabelle's room. I always justify our vast number of nail polishes by thinking that my mom, sister, and I share them, but if I actually counted how many we own this poor justification probably wouldn't cut it.

#noshame


Not really makeup, here are random lotions (or what I call winter essentials) and one random hair spray.


And this is how I organize everything: In little boxes I bought from the dollarstore. Storing things this way doesn't look like I have a lot, which might be a bad thing.

I've started to write the dates of when I open products with a sharpie, just so I know how old things get and when it's time to toss them.


That's about it for makeup. I don't plan on subscribing to ipsy forever, I think I'll stop soon enough. It's just so addicting to receive products in the mail every month though, it's like christmas every month.

Since Light House will be hosting a spring dinner in April, I've been very preoccupied with thinking of table centre pieces. I had the idea of growing flowers yesterday and using them as the centre pieces, but now that I think about it, I don't think they'll be big enough for next month. Anyway I bought two grow kits (both only for a dollar!) and planted them yesterday. These are my new babies, Daisy and Sunflower.



Daisy and Sunflower have temporarily replaced the love I usually allocate for Charlie because Charlie mauled my Pooh Bear the other day.  











Ending this post with my Frankenstein drink from Sbux. My coworker told me he would treat me the other day, so I went to starbucks and told them so-and-so was treating me and they decided to come up with the most calorie induced drink I've ever had: A green tea frap with chocolate chips and caramel whip cream. 


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Mundane Life


I’ve often thought of what to blog about and usually write my ideas down. Nothing ever just seemed good or fitting enough to post, so that I ended up with a lot of half-attempted and failed blog posts with the pressure to actually post building up something since its been months since I’ve blogged.

A lot of things have happened in the past few months, I would love to rehash them out to you but that seems very tedious and time consuming. Instead of writing about these big life moments I’m going to stick to what I know best and write about the mundane things in life that took place this week. To start, here’s a list:

1) Clipping Charlie’s paw nails

What did dogs do in the wild before they had humans to clip their paw nails for them? And what did dogs do before people invented paw nail clippers for them? I find this part of dog ownership very questionable. The vet says when Charlie’s nails are too long, it hurts him. Question is, how do I know the vet isn’t lying to me? Is Charlie actually in pain?

But since the vet said it, I must do it. And just like giving Charlie a bath is up to me, so is clipping his paw nails. I don’t like doing it since it’s a very tricky thing to cut a dog’s nail, you have to cut just the tip or else it you’ll end up hurting them. The first time I cut Charlie’s nails he made a crying sound which I thought was a cry to of pain, turns out, it’s just Charlie being a baby about getting his nails cut. Now Charlie runs away from me when I take the paw nail clippers out (which looks like a pair of pliers, if you’re wondering).

2) I’ve adopted my own department

I probably spend 50% or my week at work, which absolutely sucks because I’m exhausted most of the time. It isn’t easy being on your feet the entire day, running around to get things done. When your energy level drops and the work keeps piling up, it’s hard to keep motivated to keep going. Luckily, I have fantastic coworkers who help motivate me.

So I won’t go into the details of what it is exactly I do at work, but recently we’ve had a few management shifts with a couple of people going on vacation – leaving me by myself! I’m pretty much scared stiff about this because I’m pretty sure I’m going to severely mess up or forget about something along the way and them boom – off with my head. It’s a terrible feeling. When coworkers ask me questions about things that need to get done I try not to make it look like alarm bells are not going off in my head and try to sound like I know what I’m doing instead.

3) Outdated Teachers

Yesterday at volunteer, Mia, code name for the teacher I’m shadowing, told me not to take notes while volunteering in her class and that I should be helping her making sure the students know what they’re doing instead. This would have been fine if she made it clear that this is what she expected of me, but never in the two months I’ve been volunteering here has Mia made it clear what she expects of me. Every week I’m there she gives me a different task to do, which is why I thought it would be perfectly ok to sit and observe.

Mia and I butt heads a lot. I don’t agree with her methodology and her strict, mean way of harassing the students. I believe she is outdated and needs to re-evaluate her teaching methods to see whether they’re working or not. She complains to me that some of the activities she does in class is the same activity she has done before, and the students still don’t know how to do it, making it sound as if the students are at fault for being stupid. The students are not stupid, it’s just her methodology that needs to change in order for them to learn. Mia is just using the same methods over and over again, even if they don’t work, resulting in nothing except a huge waste of time, effort, and government money.

I can go on and on about this. Of course, my friend Thao, who deserted me and went back to Vietnam for the winter semester, receives a lot of my complains.  Every week I leave volunteer I furiously message her and we hash out plans to revolutionize ESOL teaching methods. Thao is hilarious because if you think I’m being overly critical, she’s probably 10x times worse than I am.

4) How to be the Best Bridesmaid

Since I’m going to be a bridesmaid for 2 (maybe three, Mona still has to get back to me) weddings this year, I decided to take my job seriously. Haha. I’ve been googling “How to be a bridesmaid” and “proper etiquettes for bridesmaids” and “how to write a wedding speech” and of course, “how broke am I going to be after being a bridesmaid to 3 weddings?”

I’m ecstatic about the amount of weddings that are happening this year! It’s a year of celebration really, leaving no room to feel sorry for yourself since there are weddings to celebrate and prepare for! I don’t care whose wedding it is, I’ll gladly talk about it for hours. Haha.

So I started planning Annabelle’s bridal shower with the rest of her seven bridesmaids, and I have to admit that I love working with the girls because we each have different expertise. For example, Jaspreet is the organizer (she’s created a spreadsheet via google doc and is constantly cleaning it up when we mess with it and high lights the parts that need the most attention), Stephanie is the foodie (so she knows which catering companies to trust), and I’m probably the crazy person who over googles things.
We have a spreadsheet for each thing that need to be done such as the guest list, venue, catering, games, and even accessories (for what we’re going to wear on the day of the wedding).

That somewhat sums up this long awaited for post. Hopefully my next one won’t be months down the road. 

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God is my Victory


1 Corinthians 10:13
No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Yesterday was a really bad day for me. Last Friday at LH, Jacob asked what our ‘prisons’ in life were, and we came to the consensus that our family could be a type of prison. It’s a metaphorical prison of course; the way I see it, it’s a type of captivity that makes you suffer.

As I mentioned in my thanksgiving post, my family makes me really upset. Being upset with your family is a whole different level of emotion: It’s a mix of boiling anger and rage with love. It’s the type of emotion that makes you empathize with a murderer’s rage because you’re just that angry.

Anyway, so Aaron is back in the hospital, surprise surprise. His illness is similar to diabetes, if you don’t take care of it properly and take the proper medication and precautions, you’ll deteriorate. It’s not uncommon for people with psychosis to be chronically hospitalized though, but that doesn’t mean it becomes less heart retching each time.

On Saturday, when Annabelle and my mom were bringing him to the hospital, he began breaking down crying, and I was mean enough to say, “Yeah, just cry it out.”

Pissed off, he looks at me and says, “You’re on my side, aren’t you?”

This question just about killed me. Of course I’m on his side, I’m his sister. I can’t be his enemy. At the same time I’m on the opposing side of his illness, something that I’m finding harder and harder to realize isn’t who Aaron is. I admit that sometimes when Aaron does something, it’s so easy for me to say, “Oh, that’s because he’s sick”. When really, it’s not.

So yesterday, we went to visit him in the hospital. He was absolutely in rage, angry that he has to be there for who knows how long when he doesn’t think he needs to be there. And since we’re at a different hospital this time, we had to rehash his illness to the on-call psychiatrist again, making me realize just how bleak the future looks if he continues on the way he is.

Something needs to change.

1 Corinthians 10:13 is a very timely verse that came to me. Yesterday while with the grade six kids, I made them memorize this verse. While in the hospital, this verse came back to me and I just bawled my eyes out.

Having a sick family member is something that everyone goes through. This past few months alone, I’ve heard of so many prayer requests made on behalf of a family member: Their mom, their dad, their son, their wife, their husband. It’s so easily to isolate yourself into thinking that you’re the only one in the world going through this type of problem. One thing Aaron’s illness has taught me is that I am not alone on this island; I have a community of people behind me.

God is faithful. He will help us with any type of test that comes our way. He won’t give us more than we can handle, he’s our strength of endurance.

There are so many things that seems impossible to me. I can’t even imagine things being differently. But He has it all planned out, and though this may be a lifelong struggle, I can be comforted by the thought that at least I’m not alone. 

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Fervent Prayer

It's easy to think of what to be thankful for when you're thinking about God or church. There's always something. You can thank God for your food, dog, friends, church, community - but when it comes to your family, well, it isn't that simple.

That's how I feel, anyway.

When it comes to my family, I wish I lived in a deserted island by myself. I'm strangely fearful of what will happen when Annabelle moves out next year when she gets married because she's the only sane person I live with. Even the dog isn't sane. He barks and growls at invisible objects only he can see.

As usual, I spent Thanksgiving at my grandparents. This year, both my parents were there, at the same time. For those of you who don't have divorced parents, I don't think you can sympathize with me on this one. When two people who have mutually agreed to hate each other and have mutually agreed to be repulsed by the mere thought of the other person are put in close proximity to one another, disaster always ensues.

Visualize an explosion. Visualize a tornado passing through a room. Visualize chaos and madness and flying turkeys.

That's how Thanksgiving was like.

After my mom declared she had a headache and was sick, and after my dad told the story of how my mom never takes care of herself, even when pregnant with us, and after my mom rebutted with how he never takes care of himself, or the kids, or the family - and on and on it went, they finally left in a huff.

Leaving me, Annabelle, my grandma, and my Aunty Grace in the kitchen, bewildered by the chaos. I was feeling absolutely depressed and asked my Aunty Grace to talk about something happy, please.

So she told me the story of how she got cancer.

Two years ago, my Aunty Grace didn't care for beans what she ate. With the exception of her strange allergy to chicken, she consumed everything with gusto, especially coke. She had at least a minimum of four cans of coke a day: One before work, one during work, and two during dinner. Then one day, she received the news that she had breast cancer. This changed everything, and from then on, she dropped it all, especially her addiction to coke.

For months, she waited for the chance to have surgery, something the doctors did not want to give her for reasons that absolutely frustrated her. She turned to prayer and prayed fervently. I don't think she's ever prayed so hard before. The entire church joined her, and soon she witnessed the power of prayer and how prayer can change someone's life.

She then received the chance to finally have surgery in the Philippines, so she took the first chance to fly there. Afterwards, she was on medication which caused her to loose a lot of weight. Her drastic change in diet also caused her to loose weight; she had to drop eating meat, sugar, and most carbs.

So I asked her, "What are you thankful for then?"

She answered, "I'm thankful I'm gaining back the weight I lost!"

Which is true, two years ago she was all bones and today she looks healthier, though she's definitely not the same weight she was before cancer. She told us that she had another routine mammary examination two weeks ago and was still waiting to hear back the results. We asked if she was afraid that the cancer would come back, and she replied with the most astounding answer I had heard.

"If it comes back, then I'll pray that The Lord would help me with whatever he's put on my plate again. I know he won't give me more than I can handle. So I can just pray for his help with what he's given me."

And at this point, I felt like I was stupid for having all these things about my family I was worrying about. I'm worried for my mom's health, I'm worried about my dad's job, and I'm worried about my brothers never finding a job - it can get very depressing to think about. But God will never give me anything more than I can handle, and I can just ask him to help me with whatever he's put on my plate.

After all, isn't that what prayer is about?

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To Love Simply


ASAP Science told me this week that sleeping too much may actually do more damage than good. I was very upset to hear this, since sleeping is way up there on my list of favourite past times.

I've learned some about my Christian life through my lack of sleep. Since sleep is so precious to me, my sacrificing it may actually be a big deal. Maybe what I am suppose to get out of this is to realize where my priorities are.

I make it a point to tell people that I can't work on Sundays because I have to go to church. I also make it a point to people that I can't meet them on Friday's because I have LH. This is something that I really value and it doesn't even matter if no one else understands this; whether people think I'm doing it apathetically as a routine or if people think I'm being overly religious - I do it because God is all knowing, all powerful, all encompassing, I do it because I'm weak and because I strive to be in love with Him.

There's nothing worse than a lukewarm Christian. Someone who believes in God and does nothing about it. Someone who just reads the Bible and attends church to avoid being asked why he wasn't there. Someone who measures himself up against other people's spiritual growth, when he himself isn't growing.

I can't stand it. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. (This is why I always ask God not to give me a lukewarm Christian husband.)

I love love. You can't force yourself to love God, or will yourself to love Him more, it just becomes a chore; another thing you have to do, another obligation or challenge you give yourself. You end up focusing on how much love you can give God or how much you can love God.

Love is just love. Something you automatically think about, something you automatically burst into song about even if you can't sing. Love is writing letters in my prayer journal, love is constantly hunting for the right word and phrase to express what's your mind and never finding it because there are no words to really say it. It's when you don't mind how long you have to travel to be with that person, how much money you spend on that person, or how much sleep you have to sacrifice.

You can pray for more love because you need God to help love Him.

There's a type of jumbled up logic to attending meetings that my sister and I were talking about. I'll use the girl's bible study as an example. My schedule is already very hectic, between my classes, work and volunteer, I struggle to find time to sleep. But there's always that nagging feeling on the back of my head about where my 'priorities' should be, that they should be with 'going' to bible studies and attending meetings.

This is how it plays out in my head: I have a nagging feeling that the girl's bible study hasn't started. That nagging feeling makes me want to start it. I then realize that I shouldn't listen to that nagging feeling, because having a girl's bible study should be an organic, almost spontaneous thing that I shouldn't have to drag myself to do. So I tell myself to leave it alone because I don't have any love for it. Then I go back to thinking about Seo and how much he probably drags himself to commit to all these bible studies, so I muster up some pep talk to myself to get it started. Then I realize I'm not Seo!

Anyway, so that's the cycle in my head. I go from wanting to do it to not wanting to do it to wanting to do it to not - all because it's out of my own effort. If God gave me the inspiration to do it no amount of hectic-ness will get in my way.

Instead, what I've learned from my recent hectic schedule and consequently lack of sleep is that my priorities should be to simply love. It's to not try so hard with my own efforts and ask God to help me. It's realizing God chose to love me when I didn't ask Him to. The response to love then becomes loving others who love God - which is why although I could be sleeping, I go to LH, and why although I could be studying, I choose to go to church on Sundays.

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Secrets


Today I feel like absolute crap - the result of a combination of not eating properly and drinking too much coffee on an empty stomach and not getting enough sleep. Being at work at 5am has gotten to the point where my coworkers and I talk about less than illicit ways of going to bed in time without actually taking sleeping pills. So this is what our lives has come to, pushing ourselves for the sake of temporary consumerism.

I've never felt like absolute crap before. At one point my head was completely spinning and I actually thought I'd faint, that same fainting sensation you get when your sugar level drops all of the sudden.

Anyway, to distract myself from this crappy feeling let's change topic. Yesterday during LH I was doing the ice breaker and decided to use one of the activities from my ESL activity book. It was suppose to be a practice on using articles - you know, a, an, the - and I decided to modify it for LH. Originally I was going to do Human Bingo, but that activity is super overdone and I wanted to do something where the people who already know each other well could get to know each other better. PLUS deep down, I probably unconsciously just wanted to know everyone's secrets.

So the activity is called I'll Change. The premise is that people would have to write 10-15 things (this was too complicated we ended up with just 5) that they would like to change about themselves, their lives, their world, or just random misc. things about themselves. In an ESL context, they would have to use articles with their items. I would then collect the lists and people would have to interview one another to find out whose list they have.

Simple right?

Not so, I was happy to see that people were over thinking their answers and that they were legitimately having a hard time coming up with FIVE things to put on their list. One day in the near future, I will use the same activity with my ESL class and see how long they take in comparison to how LH did. Haha.

After the ice breaker I kept everyone's paper, which now that I think about it is very stalkerish - but in my defense, I don't even know which list belongs to who, so I have all these fantastic random tidbits from different people and I can only guess who wrote what. Actually this is half a lie, I am pretty sure I know which list belongs to the guys, it's harder to tell with the girls.

But the question I have to ask is, were people being truthful? Because if they're like me, some of the things on their list is a lie.
This is what I wrote:

I wish I was taller. (A lie.)
I am semi-lactose intolerant. (WHICH now that I think about it is the reason I probably became sick after drinking all that coffee today. Damn you milk.)
I wish I can acquire better spelling abilities. (True. I can't spell.)
I wish I can memorize bible verses as well as Seo. (A lot of people wrote this on their list, haha.)
I don't like knives. (You never know when one is going to come flying at you.)

Then again, maybe not everyone is a blatant liar like me.

Ok going to bed now. Maybe I'll wake up just in time for the bible study tonight. Zzzz...

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Working at 5am: A Survival Guide



Working at 5am: A Survival Guide

With careful planning and technique, being at work at 5am doesn't have to suck. I'm the type of person who would happily sleep all day if I could and my bed and I have a happy, blissful relationship together.

Quick Ode to my Bed:

More than just a companion to my dreams,
You're my best friend and comforter.
Happily you greet me in the arms of your tangled blankets,
And give my weary head rest on your flat pillow.

Oh bed, we've been through much together,
We've read through all 7 Harry Potter books,
Learned the pitfalls of eating waffles in bed,
Battled with invading insects that have tried to ruin our solitude,
But best of all, you've been there with me through all my nightmares.

Time flies far too fast,
As I snore and drool,
Daily I leave you,
But you're always there to welcome be back.

Tangent over, back to our Survival Guide:

7pm: In theory, if you wanted eight hours of sleep you should be in bed by 7 the night before, but realistically, we all know this isn't going to happen.

8pm: By this time if you're not glancing at the clock guiltily, being well rested probably doesn't mean that much to you. That or you're going through an inner dialogue with yourself about how awake you will be at 3am. The part of you that is telling you that sleeping at 8pm is ridiculous will probably win since the part of you that wants to be responsible is weak.

9pm: Start getting ready for bed. Be careful not to suddenly become overly energized at this point and be tempted to do a sudden burst of random housework - this will only keep you from sleeping! Head straight to bed, even if the battle there takes an hour.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you set your alarm. I set two just to be safe: My iphone and an alarm clock.

10pm: No matter what, you're probably tossing and turning in bed at this point, suddenly thinking about a hundred million different things. Things like, "Why did that guy on the ttc smell so bad?" and "Maybe I will actually eat breakfast when I wake up, since I'm sleeping so early and all," and "I wonder why s/he smiled at me like that. Does that mean s/he likes me? Or maybe s/he hates my guts and the smile meant they have evil intentions. Do not trust smiling people."

Tips to fall asleep: 1) Count Sheep 2) (As bad as this seems) Pray 3) Listen to random podcasts. (Warning: Don't listen to random podcasts that excite you, i.e. Shakespeare. Listen to something French.)

11pm-2:59am: You're hopefully snoring at this point. Drool like no one is watching because you'll have to be up in a minute.

3am: Now you're allowed to ask the question you've been wanting to ask. Why would you wake up at 3am when you start work at 5am? Like most things in life, I have no reason. I just like having a 2 hour cushion to do things like: Hit snooze for the next 40 minutes.

3:40: After hitting snooze for way too long, adjust your eyes slowly to the light by browsing instagram on your phone. After a solid ten minutes of this, brush your teeth and shower. The shower will be painful, try to sing a song to cheer yourself up.

4am: Coffee is a must at this point. Chug chug chug.

If you're a guy, you can skip this part. Go eat breakfast or something.

To all the ladies: Now is the point you might stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself if it's even worth it to put makeup on. The answer is yes because although the world is still sleeping at this point, it will be waking up at some point and it's going to have to look at you. You will poke your eye with mascara, you will cry because of your contacts, you will always somehow put too much lipstick on, the hair dryer will refuse to cooperate - it's all part of being complicated.

4:30-4:45: Depending on where you live, leave the house and admire how empty the streets can be and question what the lonely cars you pass by have been up to. If you see a pedestrian, do not honk and say hi, you might scare them. You are allowed to feel good about yourself, you made it out of the house.

5am: Start work.

7am: Make sure you take a break because you will be starving at this point. Nothing is open yet so hopefully you were smart enough to pack an apple.

7:30-10am: This is when things start to get painful, stay strong! You will start feeling light headed and might start cursing everyone. There is no way of stopping this, just avoid people and do not make eye contact. Hopefully your coworkers are smart enough to leave you alone.

11am: Take another break, trust me, you will feel better after eating. Everything is open now, i.e. Starbucks and McDonalds.

11:30-1pm: With your newfound energy, suddenly work 3x the speed to make up for your earlier sluggish movements.

1pm-1:30pm: Probably the most painful last half hour of your life. Hide in the office to do 'work'.

1:30pm: Freedom!

And there you have it. Good luck.





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