ASAP Science told me this week that sleeping too much may actually do more damage than good. I was very upset to hear this, since sleeping is way up there on my list of favourite past times.

I've learned some about my Christian life through my lack of sleep. Since sleep is so precious to me, my sacrificing it may actually be a big deal. Maybe what I am suppose to get out of this is to realize where my priorities are.

I make it a point to tell people that I can't work on Sundays because I have to go to church. I also make it a point to people that I can't meet them on Friday's because I have LH. This is something that I really value and it doesn't even matter if no one else understands this; whether people think I'm doing it apathetically as a routine or if people think I'm being overly religious - I do it because God is all knowing, all powerful, all encompassing, I do it because I'm weak and because I strive to be in love with Him.

There's nothing worse than a lukewarm Christian. Someone who believes in God and does nothing about it. Someone who just reads the Bible and attends church to avoid being asked why he wasn't there. Someone who measures himself up against other people's spiritual growth, when he himself isn't growing.

I can't stand it. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. (This is why I always ask God not to give me a lukewarm Christian husband.)

I love love. You can't force yourself to love God, or will yourself to love Him more, it just becomes a chore; another thing you have to do, another obligation or challenge you give yourself. You end up focusing on how much love you can give God or how much you can love God.

Love is just love. Something you automatically think about, something you automatically burst into song about even if you can't sing. Love is writing letters in my prayer journal, love is constantly hunting for the right word and phrase to express what's your mind and never finding it because there are no words to really say it. It's when you don't mind how long you have to travel to be with that person, how much money you spend on that person, or how much sleep you have to sacrifice.

You can pray for more love because you need God to help love Him.

There's a type of jumbled up logic to attending meetings that my sister and I were talking about. I'll use the girl's bible study as an example. My schedule is already very hectic, between my classes, work and volunteer, I struggle to find time to sleep. But there's always that nagging feeling on the back of my head about where my 'priorities' should be, that they should be with 'going' to bible studies and attending meetings.

This is how it plays out in my head: I have a nagging feeling that the girl's bible study hasn't started. That nagging feeling makes me want to start it. I then realize that I shouldn't listen to that nagging feeling, because having a girl's bible study should be an organic, almost spontaneous thing that I shouldn't have to drag myself to do. So I tell myself to leave it alone because I don't have any love for it. Then I go back to thinking about Seo and how much he probably drags himself to commit to all these bible studies, so I muster up some pep talk to myself to get it started. Then I realize I'm not Seo!

Anyway, so that's the cycle in my head. I go from wanting to do it to not wanting to do it to wanting to do it to not - all because it's out of my own effort. If God gave me the inspiration to do it no amount of hectic-ness will get in my way.

Instead, what I've learned from my recent hectic schedule and consequently lack of sleep is that my priorities should be to simply love. It's to not try so hard with my own efforts and ask God to help me. It's realizing God chose to love me when I didn't ask Him to. The response to love then becomes loving others who love God - which is why although I could be sleeping, I go to LH, and why although I could be studying, I choose to go to church on Sundays.