I usually have a high tolerance for all things crap but there comes a time when you have one crap too many and end up feeling emotionally constipated.

Crappy situation #1: My birthday
I hate this, every year it's the same thing. I don't mind it but I hate the pressure of having to make a big deal out of it and feeling the pressure of having to celebrate it. Right now, I feel very emotionally constipated because I don't know how to celebrate it, and I don't know whether to feel happy or sad about it. So it's just crap.

Crappy situation #2: Work
I made up my mind a bajillion and one years ago to quit ELC, but everytime I go to work these kids look at me with their puppy eyes and I get sucked in and never want to leave. This past week is no different, I've probably thought of quitting a million times.

So usually, Jay Park and I have a meeting every week. Today during our little meeting Jay Park mentions the summer and I was so, so, so close to telling him I quit when suddenly he says, "I'm going to give you more hours."

And with those magic words I just had to listen to the rest of what he had to say.

Ok so we all know Jay Park. He's this big hot shot entrepreneur professional guy who owns three businesses. He wants to basically give me more hours to help him out with his consulting business and screen out candidates for him. This is so painful guys, you don't even know.

Also, Target is painful. Basically, the thing is this: Right now no one is really assigned to an area, so the Team Leads are having a blast picking and choosing which team members they want on board. It's kind of like gym class. Everytime I go in someone says, Join my team! You promised to be with me right? I choose you! In my head I'm just like, "Nope, don't pick me. I don't really want to do work or be committed to you right now." PLUS no one has said it yet but Target is a little bit sexist. They put all the girls in the clothing/baby/cashier departments and all the guys in electronics and the backroom. What if I volunteered to be in electronics, now what? But that would mean I'd want to actually do work ...

Crappy situation #3: Everyone is leaving

Technically, just Ariel is leaving but it's enough to make me feel like everyone is leaving, becuase after Ariel is Yong, then Jacob, then ... who knows. I've been feeling blue thinking about this. The deeper issue here isn't abandonment, it's fear of change and lack of faith in the future. Crap crap crap.

Crappy situation #4: Valentine's Day

YES Valentine's Day was one month ago. I never use to care for holidays like Valentine's Day in the the past, but recently ever since I realized I shouldn't be so emotionally constipated and be more open to 'feeling' I decided to care about Valentine's Day. (Believe it or not, I actually tried to get in the habit of hugging people. It failed because I kept on forgetting to hug people right when I meet them. It's awkward to say, "Can I hug you!?" five minutes into the conversation.)

Ok so ladies and 'gents, as I was lecturing my student Po today, when you are in a relationship, giving flowers isn't an option, it shouldn't even be a question, it should just be some thing you do automatically ESPECIALLY on Valentine's Day. So if you're like Po and wondering what the big deal is, I'll explain.

Flowers die a week after you receive them and they're freakin' expensive, which is exactly the point! It shows that you are willing to indulge and spend your hard earned pennines on this worthless novelty on someone you deep down truly love and treasure. In a romantic boy/girl relationship, it shows that the guy isn't a prude and cheap with his money. The guy also gets extra bonus points with the girl if he is creative in the way the delivers the flowers (i.e. home delivery, which costs more and shows that he knows how to plan ahead of time to make sure you receive the flowers on time). One thing girls secretly hate are prudes, especially on Valentine's Day.

In other non-romantic relationships where you give flowers to your mom, grandma, or sisters at church, it shows appreciation and love and care and that you would actually take time to think about them and pick out their favourite bouquet.

Ok go back to romantic boy/girl relationships. Making the girl happy is also a sign of respect towards her, it shows that you respect her for her femininity and you are respecting her by being a gentleman. It's part of that woo-ing process that guys today don't know how to do.

I swear I will talk about this topic forever and go on and on about this but I'll stop now because although this is all nice and all, the theme of this post is crap. Crap crap crap. I don't want to rat anyone out but since you all know who I'm going out with it's kind of unavoidable *ahemjohnnyahem*. But guys, Valentine's Day was last month and I still haven't received flowers. My birthday is next week so I better wake up to three dozen roses (preferably in a shade of pale pink). Just saying.

Crap situation #5: OMGEE

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No, I don't feel better. I'm still emotionally constipated.