The conclusions of tonight's dinner with my mom and grandparents were that (a) marriage leads to nothing but bad endings (b) marriage right after you graduate is just another form of suicide that will give you ever lasting pain but never provide death (c) never marry a cheap person.

I'll expand on point c. Their view on 'cheap' is someone who mooches off of other people for a free meal, sits outside the bathroom with a time-watch while you shower, makes sure that you eat every crumb on your plate, counts every penny they spend on you, and someone who will never ever buy you an anniversary gift.

Unfortunately, I'm a renowned penny pincher to my family. When I came back from Disney World with nothing but magnets for my grandparents they laughed at me. Ok, I admit, I should have at least gotten them a t-shirt, but I seriously could not have imagined them wearing Mickey Mouse shirts. Plus I got them four magnets! That's two each!

So I guess I'm that cheap person people should never marry. I do think they're mislabeling me as a cheap person though, since I prefer the term overly-concious-about-my-hard-earned-loonies, that's all.

Anyway, it also seems like my mom and grandparents think that marriage equals instant babies. They're like, "So-and-so got married - and look! Babies!" Or "I got married and had to take care of the babies right away." Also: "You're going to get married right after you graduate? What are you going to do about the babies? What a waste!"

Sigh. I want my Disney magic back. Cinderella and those other princesses never had to endure such grim reality as this.

Moving on: Today at work I decided to make grammar fun by making a chart of their progress - which looks very similar to the charts at church that keeps track of who memorized their Bible verses - to see who the best is.

I'd be like: "Look! So-and-so did better than you, tsk tsk tsk, what shame ..."

This always works because then they instantly try harder.

They're like: "Gimme more grammar worksheets! I will read and finish them all! I will have impervious syntax! Rawr!"

Ok, so I made their response up. If I can't have dreams of happy ever after-alls with marriage I can at least still dream about a world where people have proper use of grammar.