Pad Thai

I love noodles. Especially Pad Thai.

So at the Sears I work at there's this girl named Mary who looks exactly like me. People always call her Ann but no one ever calls me Mary, which is odd because she's been working there longer than I have. Mary and I are both interested in photography, she's quiet like me and we have the same hairstyle. The only difference is that I'm taller than her, and that she's a year older than I am.

Anyway, Mary and I both share an insane love for Pad Thai. At the Promenade there's a Thai Express in the food court where for weeks on end she would constantly order Beef Pad Thai, so much so that they remember her and every time she goes there they know what she's getting before she even opens her mouth to order. (On some occasions they even slip in a free spring roll.)

One day I discovered that since Mary and I look so alike, the people at Thai Express can't tell us apart. They think I'm Mary, because when I went to order they asked "Beef Pad Thai?" with a smile that throughly confused me. (Before working at Sears I worked in the food court and thought they remembered me because of that) When I saw Mary later on that day she explained it all to me.

Today I was ordering Beef Pad Thai when the guy who is usually there gave me a big smile and put extra beef in my Pad Thai because he thought I was Mary. I was very happy.

See the thing is, though I may complain about the monotony of working at Catalogue department at Sears I can't leave because of Mary. And all the other people I work with. If I leave I'll never see Mary again, or my Manager, or the very awesome people I work with in my department, or that girl I always smile at, that guy I always say good morning/good night too, that customer who never gives me a hard time. I'll stop getting extra beef in my Pad Thai.

If it's one thing I hate, it's saying goodbye.

Also at work they have this Tree of Hope for christmas. It's decorated gold stars that has various names (as well as their age) from the Boys and Girls club, kids who are less fortunate/have disabilities. The purpose of the tree is for people to take a star and buy a gift for the kid whose name is on it. It's right in front of my counter, so whenever I have a shift I take a peek at the tree and see who is left. I noticed that the older kids weren't being picked - the ones who were 10 and up. I suppose it's just easier to buy gifts for the younger kids.

There's this 13 year old girl whose name I can't remember, but it sounded like Desdemona so I'll call her that. I noticed that no one was picking her. A few weeks ago I had decided that I was going to buy a gift for her but then felt partly broke, so I decided against it.

Then, because I had a ridiculously long shift at work today and because the tree is right there in front of me, I began to think about it. I didn't have to buy the Beef Pad Thai, could have saved my money right there and bought her something. I didn't need to buy my friend that expensive gift, I didn't need to buy that jacket the other day. In other words, I guilted my way into it.

I ended up buying her socks, a scarf and a hat. I hope she likes it. I wish I could see her reaction when she opens the gift, because I want to make myself feel better by knowing that I made someone happy.

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bahh

Tonight I just discovered that a bunch of people I know have blogs as well. This does not work well for me because as much as I like sharing my thoughts to people I know, if they ever find this blog I'm screwed.

I think most of my posts are going to have to be put as private soon so only I can see them.

Unless, of course, I never tell them about the existence of this blog.

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That's What She Said

The recent trend of the term ‘that’s what she said’ could be heard uttered from the lips of men (or rather, immature boys with dirty minds) and is the most versatile joke out there next to ‘yo mama’ jokes. It has sexual innuendos attached to it and could be said after phrases such as “Make sure it’s long enough” and “I think we can fit in with the rest of them”. However, not everyone appreciates the quick acting, brilliant wit and mastermind often needed to catch such phrases. Such reasons then will be explored and discussed within the next several paragraphs.

Reason one:
The person on the receiving end of such a brilliant joke happens to be a female. There is nothing wrong with females (being one myself). However, unlike their male counterparts, females tend to be more cultured and polite. Passes such as ‘that’s what she said’ after her saying, “Wow, that was hard” about a test would usually result with either a quizzical look or a baffled one (sometimes both). Females learn quickly and after having been exposed to several of these passes from dirty minded male friends, they will make them feel better with uneasy, polite laughter. Be forewarned: not all females will politely laugh at ‘that’s what she said’ jokes, some will actually go out of their way to avoid you altogether. In rare cases, the female will actually begin say such a vulgar pass herself, which in turn will make her male friends produce quizzical and baffled looks while saying “I didn’t know girls said that.”

Reason two:
Though it might be hard to imagine such a thing, there are people out there without a trace and hint of humor in their bones and will take everything literally. In such cases as these, run far away because you have just had the misfortune of running into a boring person. It is better to say ‘that’s what she said’ to a female friend and have her go out of the way to avoid you than it is to say it to a boring person because the joke does not wither and die away as pathetically. Females produce a reaction of disgust, which men usually take delight in (one of the reasons this joke has not yet died out). However, with a boring person the joke could be seen sadly withering away to its unlaughed grave. Though boring people are quite uncomplicated themselves, they can be grouped into several categories: The cynical bore, the timid bore, and the computer/life science/u of t nerd bore. These people take themselves too seriously to laugh, even in the presence of a brilliant joke.

Reason three:
Although ‘that’s what she said’ is a beautiful phrase that has spread joy to many it must be said with caution. The most important reason that a person would not laugh at a ‘that’s what she said’ joke is because you have just offended that person. This can occur very easily if you are not careful, especially to a boring person. (The only time a boring person will cease to be boring is when they are angered and offended). Note: once you’ve offended a person with a ‘that’s what she said’ joke it cannot be undone with another ‘that’s what she said joke’.

The conclusion of this enlightening essay will begin with a warning: Though ‘that’s what she said’ jokes are fantastic within themselves they are not to be overused. Overusing them would be saying them after everything a person has said, thus making the person on the receiving end hate ‘that’s what she said’ jokes. That is not the purpose of this beloved phrase. As well, this phrase must be said within context. It cannot be said after such phrases such as “I just ate a whole pizza” or “I did well on that exam” because there are no sexual innuendo’s attached to it. So enjoy and keep these reasons in mind while spreading the love.

That’s what she said.

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Love never fails

You make all things work together for my good

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For some reason I want to learn how to play the piano again but every time I try I get frustrated and give up. For once I'd like to be good at something :/

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Story of the Day

Today I will tell you a story about the confused Noodle Bowl.

There once was a so-so noodle bowl who was tired of the taste of MSG even though MSG makes everything taste good and makes everything happier.

So-so noodle bowl couldn't understand why.

Perhaps it was because once so-so noodle bowl ate something that tasted so good, she shared it with short noodle bowl, and short noodle bowl added something to it that made it taste bad. Or maybe it was because one time so-so noodle bowl was eating something so good she shared it with that old noodle bowl and that old noodle bowl added something to it that made it taste even worse.

So now so-so noodle bowl is eating something else with a lot of MSG again, only this time she's not sure it tastes good anymore. But what is a noodle bowl without MSG? Its boring, plain and doesn't taste as good. Every noodle bowl needs MSG, even if it's only a little bit.

Large noodle bowl comes by and sees so-so noodle bowl eating MSG. Large noodle bowls offers to share it with her and takes out a bottle saying "I'll add this to make it taste better!"

So-so noodle bowl is alarmed and hesitates, she doesn't know what to do. Short noodle bowl and that old noodle bowl already did that once, and from so-so noodle bowls experience, it tasted worse.

So-so noodle bowl is now confused because she's tempted on giving MSG another try, large noodle bowl's ingredient could make it taste better. So-so noodle bowl let large noodle bowl pour in the ingredient very very slowly and ...

Now so-so noodle bowl is confused. She doesn't know what it tastes like. MSG, so-so noodle bowl thinks, is quiet useless.