I have two sets of friends, very loosely categorized this is how I see them as: My Church Friends and Other Friends

For some reason, no matter how long we've last seen or spoken to each other, I always feel closer to my Church Friends.

So Tabi and I were sitting there, talking, first about guys, then I don't know how we got to this but I ended up confessing to her how empty I've been feeling lately. This weird feeling like something is majorly missing in my life. And that thought of feeling empty didn't occur to me until I started talking to Tabbi because it wasn't until that moment that I realized what it really was. 

Though I really have nothing to feel empty about, I already have a lot of things.

1) I am able to get an education, which, as the kids I'm volunteering with has taught me, is not a privilege everyone has.

2) I have great friends who I can count on

3) I will always have family to take care of me

4) I have a job

5) I have more or less everything I want, materialistically 

SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS MISSING/EMPTY?

Sometimes, when I'm down, it's easy to blame it on Leo. I start thinking: "Oh, I'm feeling this way because I texted him and it's been three hours and he hasn't texted me back/I'm feeling this way because he didn't set up a date for this week/I'm feeling this way because he never bothers to get to know me... etc." 

But really, that's just an excuse. 

So then I blame it on school: "Oh, I'm feeling down because I got a bad grade/I have too much homework to do/I don't have enough 'me' time." 

And that's just another excuse, because I'm on summer vacation and I don't have school to worry about. 

So what is this weird empty feeling then? 

Tabi didn't give me an answer, but gah, now I'm frustrated. Does this mean I have to do some soul searching? Or am I just out of it >:/